Since my last post:
- Darren and I finished the Brian Post training - it was really good, and I think it will definitely be helpful in the future. I mean, we have had the normal challenges with our children, but we have never dealt with kids who have had serious trauma and difficulty in their lives; so it was good to get some insight about children like that, and some good tools to deal with them.
- Darren, Justin and I went to the local U.S. Customs & Immigration office to be fingerprinted (everyone over the age of 18 living in your house has to do this for an adoption). It was a pretty quick process, but goodness, they are serious about their rules and security there! Stand exactly here, sit exactly there, and heaven forbid if you try to take out a cell phone while waiting in the security line - they almost tackled some poor guy who did that. I can understand their concern, but it still seemed a bit over the top. I guess I showed my ignorance of the 21st century when I asked the fingerprint guy, "You mean you don't do fingerprints with ink any more?" (Apparently they haven't for quite a while.) They do it right on a computer screen, no inky fingertips necessary, which is nice.
- We got a card in the mail today from AAI saying that our dossier has been sent to Ethiopia! So as soon as we identify the children we want to adopt, the process can begin over there.
- We have been looking at files of several sibling groups, and right now are waiting to get some more information about them. The agency here in the U.S. has basic info, but if you have more detailed questions, they send them to the social worker at the orphanage, and wait to hear back. Please continue to pray for us for wisdom and clear discernment about who to adopt.
- We said goodbye to Lindsay today - she was here for a quick visit, and is heading back to New York, and then will leave for Tanzania in a week!... which is both :) and :(. Hopefully, we will be heading over to Ethiopia while she's there, so we can "drop by" for a visit, or she can meet us in Ethiopia. There's only one country, Kenya, between the two - that's not so far, right? :)
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Choosing
I got my previous to-do list done - applied for two adoption loans (waiting to hear right now) - but then we found out that we actually had to get some additional training finished before our dossier could be sent to Ethiopia. AAI had sent us a training seminar on dvd by Brian Post called "Healing for the Attachment Challenged Child," and we are almost finished with it. It has been really helpful, actually - a lot of great information and techniques - and I'm sure we'll come back to it in the future.
Mainly right now we are in the "choosing" phase. So far we have received two dvds of waiting children in Ethiopia, and have been looking through them, praying about various sibling groups, getting more information about them, etc. To me it is actually the most difficult part.
Previously I was focused on getting documents together, training, things like that, which took time but were fairly straightforward. Now, we have to decide which children will become part of our family, forever. It can be overwhelming, looking at so many children who all need homes and families, trying to discern which ones God is leading us to.
Please pray for us, for wisdom, discernment, and clear direction from God.
Mainly right now we are in the "choosing" phase. So far we have received two dvds of waiting children in Ethiopia, and have been looking through them, praying about various sibling groups, getting more information about them, etc. To me it is actually the most difficult part.
Previously I was focused on getting documents together, training, things like that, which took time but were fairly straightforward. Now, we have to decide which children will become part of our family, forever. It can be overwhelming, looking at so many children who all need homes and families, trying to discern which ones God is leading us to.
Please pray for us, for wisdom, discernment, and clear direction from God.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Done!...and more to do...
I sent our I-600A form in to Immigration last week, and express-mailed our dossier to AAI yesterday - yay!
We are waiting to receive the DVD of waiting children right now. My friend Deanna, who adopted 3 children from Ethiopia through AAI, put me in contact with another mom who has adopted from there. She has been there more recently and met many of the children, so that will be really helpful as we are trying to decide whom we are to adopt.
The next thing on my to-do list is to apply for some adoption loans. There are Christian organizations that offer no-interest loans to families for adoption; this would be a huge blessing for us. So far, the money we have had to pay has been pretty spread out, and not in huge amounts (the largest being $2400); but when we choose the children we are going to adopt, we will need to pay $4000. Then, when the case is submitted to court, we will need $5000 more. The final big chunks needed will be for traveling to Ethiopia, which we have to do twice, once for court and once to bring the children home. I'm not really sure how much we will need for those trips, but I'm estimating $3000 for the first trip and $6000 for the second.
The great thing is that there is a refundable adoption tax credit now, $13,170 per child in 2010, so if we can get loans for these costs, we can repay them easily with the tax credits. Anyway, please pray that we will be approved for some loans, enough to cover our major costs.
We are waiting to receive the DVD of waiting children right now. My friend Deanna, who adopted 3 children from Ethiopia through AAI, put me in contact with another mom who has adopted from there. She has been there more recently and met many of the children, so that will be really helpful as we are trying to decide whom we are to adopt.
The next thing on my to-do list is to apply for some adoption loans. There are Christian organizations that offer no-interest loans to families for adoption; this would be a huge blessing for us. So far, the money we have had to pay has been pretty spread out, and not in huge amounts (the largest being $2400); but when we choose the children we are going to adopt, we will need to pay $4000. Then, when the case is submitted to court, we will need $5000 more. The final big chunks needed will be for traveling to Ethiopia, which we have to do twice, once for court and once to bring the children home. I'm not really sure how much we will need for those trips, but I'm estimating $3000 for the first trip and $6000 for the second.
The great thing is that there is a refundable adoption tax credit now, $13,170 per child in 2010, so if we can get loans for these costs, we can repay them easily with the tax credits. Anyway, please pray that we will be approved for some loans, enough to cover our major costs.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Working on the dossier...
So, our home study was finished a few weeks ago, but then we were waiting for the rest of the money we needed for the agency fee ($2400) so they could send us info on how to put together our dossier. We finally got the rest of it a couple of weeks ago and paid, and they sent us the instructions.
Unfortunately, I was sick when they came (sinus infection that lasted forever!), so I just started working on the dossier this past week. But the good thing is that even though it's a long list of documents, most aren't taking that long to get together. I got the majority of it done this week, and right now I'm just waiting on a few things to come back to us (like a couple of reference letters, a letter from our accountant, and letters from our doctors). We also have to have everything notarized, which we'll do tomorrow. Once I have everything, I will send it to our agency, hopefully this week; and they will send it on to Ethiopia.
The other thing we have to do is send in our I-600A form, "Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition," to the U.S. Immigration Department. It's basically to let them know that you are going to be adopting; once you have identified the children, you file another form called "Petition to Classify Orphan as an Immediate Relative." After the I-600A is filed, we will be contacted by immigration and will need to go get fingerprinted (any adults living in the home have to do this, so it will be me, Darren and Justin).
With this I-600A form, we have to send in a copy of our home study, which we are waiting for right now. I got an email from the adoption agency saying that whereas in the past, only a synopsis of the home study was translated into Amharic (the language of Ethiopia), now every word has to be translated; so she pointed out a few things that needed to be re-worded in it. For instance, in one place our social worker said, "They have a blast when they're together," and she said a translator might not know what that means. :) Our social worker is working on the changes now, and hopefully will get a copy of the home study to us this week.
So, that's where we are in the process. I hope that we can finish up the dossier this week and get it all in, and then we can actually start looking at the available children and see who God leads us to!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Home study - check!
I just got a call from the adoption agency saying that they received our home study, and that it was approved! Finally we can start moving forward again! I'm still not exactly sure why that all took so long - but I do know that God's timing is perfect.
Next, we will put our dossier together (still not sure exactly what that entails), file an immigration form and get fingerprinted, and get an updated list of available children to see who we'd like to adopt! One thing the lady from the agency did strongly suggest is that we adopt children that are younger than 14 (in other words, younger than our youngest child). She said that it just usually works out best that way in families. Also, she said that a child who is said to be 16 may actually be 18 or 20 - they just don't usually have birth certificates and accurate records.
I asked what the timetable typically is for people adopting older children, and she said in the past it has been about 6 months from when your dossier is submitted to when you travel to Ethiopia. Now, we actually have to travel twice, because the process in Ethiopia recently changed; the first time is for a court date, and the second time would be about 2 months later and is to bring the children home. She did say that the courts pretty much close down in August and September, but we wouldn't be going that soon anyway.
It's so nice to actually be moving forward with the adoption process. Sometimes when nothing much is happening it doesn't seem very real after a while, that we're actually doing this. :)
Next, we will put our dossier together (still not sure exactly what that entails), file an immigration form and get fingerprinted, and get an updated list of available children to see who we'd like to adopt! One thing the lady from the agency did strongly suggest is that we adopt children that are younger than 14 (in other words, younger than our youngest child). She said that it just usually works out best that way in families. Also, she said that a child who is said to be 16 may actually be 18 or 20 - they just don't usually have birth certificates and accurate records.
I asked what the timetable typically is for people adopting older children, and she said in the past it has been about 6 months from when your dossier is submitted to when you travel to Ethiopia. Now, we actually have to travel twice, because the process in Ethiopia recently changed; the first time is for a court date, and the second time would be about 2 months later and is to bring the children home. She did say that the courts pretty much close down in August and September, but we wouldn't be going that soon anyway.
It's so nice to actually be moving forward with the adoption process. Sometimes when nothing much is happening it doesn't seem very real after a while, that we're actually doing this. :)
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
March Updates
- Home Study - it is finally progressing - we got a new social worker, because our previous one had some pregnancy complications, so we kind of had to start over again. We have met with the new social worker twice so far, and we really like her, which makes it a lot easier when you and your family are being evaluated by someone you don't know. :)
The first meeting she talked to Darren and me kind of in general about us and why we want to adopt, and she interviewed Trevor and Alex, asking them to tell her about themselves, and what they thing about us adopting. The second meeting (yesterday) she talked to us more specifically about our marriage and child-rearing philosophies, and interviewed Lindsay and Justin, who were home for spring break and Campus Harvest. It was really cool to hear the kids all talk about themselves and about how they feel about us adding to our family through adoption; she said she was very impressed by all of our kids. :) We have one more meeting in two weeks, and then we'll be done.
- Application Process - I sent in our second set of documents to AAI. Once the home study is done, as long as everything is okay, we will send that in, and then I think next we will put together our dossier - more copies of documents like birth certificates, medical reports, etc, which I think we already have most of. I'm not entirely clear on the whole process, but we're just taking it one step at a time.
- Finances - When we send in the home study, we need to pay AAI their fee, which is $2400. God has provided $2000 of that already so far!
1) Someone backed into my car in a parking lot, and their insurance paid to have it fixed. The insurance adjuster said the whole passenger door needed to be replaced, and wrote me a check for that - but the body shop said it wasn't necessary, that they only needed to replace the outer panel. We had $760 left over from that!
2) We are keeping a friend's dog for the summer, and they are so generously giving us $1000 for that (they wanted to help us with the adoption).
3) I sold some of the boys' old toys and sports equipment on Craigslist, and have made a little over $200 so far from that.
So we just need $400 more, and we have two more weeks or so for that. I know this is kind of specific, but I want to show how God is so faithful to provide what we need when we need it, and how he can use anything, even something that seems bad like being hit by another car. :) Of course, there are a lot more bigger expenses coming up, but I know that where he leads us, he will provide.
The first meeting she talked to Darren and me kind of in general about us and why we want to adopt, and she interviewed Trevor and Alex, asking them to tell her about themselves, and what they thing about us adopting. The second meeting (yesterday) she talked to us more specifically about our marriage and child-rearing philosophies, and interviewed Lindsay and Justin, who were home for spring break and Campus Harvest. It was really cool to hear the kids all talk about themselves and about how they feel about us adding to our family through adoption; she said she was very impressed by all of our kids. :) We have one more meeting in two weeks, and then we'll be done.
- Application Process - I sent in our second set of documents to AAI. Once the home study is done, as long as everything is okay, we will send that in, and then I think next we will put together our dossier - more copies of documents like birth certificates, medical reports, etc, which I think we already have most of. I'm not entirely clear on the whole process, but we're just taking it one step at a time.
- Finances - When we send in the home study, we need to pay AAI their fee, which is $2400. God has provided $2000 of that already so far!
1) Someone backed into my car in a parking lot, and their insurance paid to have it fixed. The insurance adjuster said the whole passenger door needed to be replaced, and wrote me a check for that - but the body shop said it wasn't necessary, that they only needed to replace the outer panel. We had $760 left over from that!
2) We are keeping a friend's dog for the summer, and they are so generously giving us $1000 for that (they wanted to help us with the adoption).
3) I sold some of the boys' old toys and sports equipment on Craigslist, and have made a little over $200 so far from that.
So we just need $400 more, and we have two more weeks or so for that. I know this is kind of specific, but I want to show how God is so faithful to provide what we need when we need it, and how he can use anything, even something that seems bad like being hit by another car. :) Of course, there are a lot more bigger expenses coming up, but I know that where he leads us, he will provide.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Moving forward...
We are finally moving forward with our adoption! Our home study had been on hold until Darren and I finished our training (10 hours each), which we did about a month ago, and until we made a definite decision about which country we want to adopt from.
As you know, we had been trying to decide between Uganda and Ethiopia, and leaning towards Uganda. But in the last few months there have been some issues in the courts there, pretty much putting all international adoptions on hold. Also, I had received an email from Jalia at Royal Orphanage saying that the boys she had recommended to me, Rogers and his brother, are going to be adopted by their sponsor. There are other boys available, of course, and I'm confident that the issues in the courts will be worked out; but because of these things, we had been thinking more about Ethiopia.
As I was thinking about Ethiopia, I first emailed my friend Eileen who had sent me information about the two brothers at Kolfe Boys Orphanage that she really wanted to find a family for. But she said that actually another family is in the process of adopting those brothers - which is a great thing for them! - but a closed door for us.
Then another friend, Deanna, who has adopted three children from Ethiopia, sent me a newsletter from an agency called Adoption Advocates International (AAI) about three siblings, two boys and a girl, who are available for adoption at Layla House, their orphanage in Ethiopia. When Darren and I read over their information, we were really drawn to them. I contacted the agency, and they told me that a couple other families are also interested in these children and are farther along in the process than we are. But, we still felt that we should pursue adopting from Ethiopia, and were impressed by this agency. We had to make sure our home study agency was willing to sign an agreement with AAI, which I found out on Friday that they did; so now we can move forward. I am mailing our application to AAI on Monday, and hopefully we can finish up our home study in the next couple of weeks.
Another interesting thing is that as I looked at the AAI website, I realized I had heard about Layla House before - I read about it in the book There is No Me Without You a year or so ago. This is a book which had a great impact on me in terms of beginning to think about adoption. And it turns out that our book club is reading this book right now as well!
As you know, we had been trying to decide between Uganda and Ethiopia, and leaning towards Uganda. But in the last few months there have been some issues in the courts there, pretty much putting all international adoptions on hold. Also, I had received an email from Jalia at Royal Orphanage saying that the boys she had recommended to me, Rogers and his brother, are going to be adopted by their sponsor. There are other boys available, of course, and I'm confident that the issues in the courts will be worked out; but because of these things, we had been thinking more about Ethiopia.
As I was thinking about Ethiopia, I first emailed my friend Eileen who had sent me information about the two brothers at Kolfe Boys Orphanage that she really wanted to find a family for. But she said that actually another family is in the process of adopting those brothers - which is a great thing for them! - but a closed door for us.
Then another friend, Deanna, who has adopted three children from Ethiopia, sent me a newsletter from an agency called Adoption Advocates International (AAI) about three siblings, two boys and a girl, who are available for adoption at Layla House, their orphanage in Ethiopia. When Darren and I read over their information, we were really drawn to them. I contacted the agency, and they told me that a couple other families are also interested in these children and are farther along in the process than we are. But, we still felt that we should pursue adopting from Ethiopia, and were impressed by this agency. We had to make sure our home study agency was willing to sign an agreement with AAI, which I found out on Friday that they did; so now we can move forward. I am mailing our application to AAI on Monday, and hopefully we can finish up our home study in the next couple of weeks.
Another interesting thing is that as I looked at the AAI website, I realized I had heard about Layla House before - I read about it in the book There is No Me Without You a year or so ago. This is a book which had a great impact on me in terms of beginning to think about adoption. And it turns out that our book club is reading this book right now as well!
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