The Waiting

I haven’t written in a while, mostly because not too much has been happening, but this is the latest.

-- I turned in all our documents over a month ago, but then found out we had to have at least half of our training done before the home study could start (we need to have 10 hours of training – can be books and/or online courses). The agency recommended two online courses at a site called AdoptionLearningPartners.org – one called “With Eyes Wide Open” about international adoption, and one called “Conspicuous Families” about adopting a child of a different ethnicity. You read information online, and then do homework that you send in to the adoption agency & social worker, mostly lots of questions helping you to think through various issues you will or might deal with in adoption. I think they were very helpful, especially since we have no experience with adoption at all. They also gave us a book list, and I got a few of the books, which I’ve started to read – Successful Adoption: A Guide for Christian Families by Natalie Gillespie, Adopting the Older Child by Claudia Jewett, and Adopted for Life by Russell Moore.

-- In the course of going through the training, I read that it’s not usually recommended for families to adopt two children at the same time who are not siblings, unless they are from the same orphanage and are close there. It’s not a hard and fast rule, but it just made me think about Rogers and Fred, from Royal Orphanage, who aren’t brothers. So I emailed Jalia to ask her about them, if they are close to one another, and if she thought they would do well being adopted together. She didn’t really answer my question, but she replied:

Yes, Rogers has a young brother!!!

I asked Rogers to get his pic to me, but he has been in school he is boarding. But today they got their holiday, so I will be able to see him on Monday. I will send his brothers pic too.

This is all she said, and I haven’t heard back since, so I’m waiting to find out more – how old his brother is, if they have any other siblings or if it’s just the two of them, etc. The Tuckers were planning to go to Uganda to pick up their children at the end of November, and they were going to get more information and pictures for us, but that didn’t work out; now they are going in January. So, we’ll just have to be patient.

-- But meanwhile, my friend Eileen sent me information about two brothers in Ethiopia that she really wants to find a family for here:

These two brothers are my #1 recommendation for adoption. My cousin Georgie fell in love with them when we were in Ethiopia and he asked me to please ask you to adopt them. He has been keeping in touch with them and they asked him to please find them a family.

(they are the two on the left)

I think they are like 10 & 12 I forgot but I will ask Solomon. My cousin is praying so hard to get these boys adopted here so he can be a big brother to them. He is single and cannot adopt himself but he is asking me to get them here. The director of Ethiopia for Gladney told me if I get anyone interested in any of the Kolfe boys to let him know and he will help us get them adopted. They won't get any of their paperwork started unless someone is specifically interested in them. He said because no one is really interested in these boys, they don't even give them hope so they do nothing to get them adoptable in advance. They told me I can start advocating for them on my blog and see if anything happens. I pray these two would the first in line to be adopted and start a mass adoption from the Kolfe orphanage! This could be the start of something wonderful!! I know Uganda also needs help and I a sure the boys there are just as sweet. So, please just pray and ask the LORD for HIS direction. I am praying for you too!! It would be great to start a Kolfe boys community here in NC!!

-- We did get a call from the social worker finally, and have our first home study appointment with her this coming Wednesday, so that will be interesting, I’m sure.

Going through all of this, I have to say that it still doesn’t seem really real, that we are planning to actually add two more children to our family. I have been more focused on just following what I believe God is saying to us, with a heart to open our family to orphans who don’t have one, trusting that He will work out the details and provide all we need as we move down this path. But there are so many details to work on in the process, that it’s easy to focus on those instead of the reality of what you’re actually planning to do. Darren and I have been talking through this more recently, really trying to let it all sink in a bit more, to think through it all and make sure we are both on the same page and in full agreement – which is obviously so important - before we move farther ahead. Pray for both of us that God will make his will very clear, and that we will have a peace and confidence in our hearts about it.

Adoption Letters

I turned in most of our documents for the home study last Friday, and one of the things they asked for is for our kids age 16 and older to write a letter about how they feel about our family adopting. These are their letters:

I am absolutely thrilled that my family is pursuing adoption. I have always loved having a large family and the community and friendship that comes from having a lot of siblings. Adding to our family would bring me so much joy. I believe adoption is a beautiful way to express the love of God. It is so important to me, that when I have my own family I plan to adopt as many children as I am able to. I think that those who have been blessed with much have a responsibility to give much and that my family has so much love and provision that we have a charge from God to share it. I believe that we would welcome new siblings with all of our hearts.

Thank you,
Lindsay Phillips

I have always been a huge fan of adoption, and really looked up to any family who chose to do it. I always dreamed of adopting kids myself one day, because I love children so much, and I have such a deep heart for kids who don't have a family. I love my brothers and my sister, they are the most valuable things to me in the world, and I have always wanted more siblings. My parents decided to stop having kids a while ago, and I always hoped we would adopt some children. If it were up to me, I would have dozens of siblings. One of my greatest joys is spending time with my brothers, getting to know them, loving on them, and seeing them become the men they were made to be, and I would be honored to have more siblings to be able to do that with.

Justin P

On Adoption By Trevor Phillips

When my mom first talked to me about adoption as a serious consideration for us, I thought it was crazy. We were already grown (mostly)! I thought our family was complete. But as she talked more about it, and as I researched it and came to some conclusions, I realized that with the bounty that God has given us, it is God’s will that we should give it back to him in some way, and what better way than to give a child’s life new hope? To give that child a chance at living a blessed life?

The more I thought about how I hadn’t wanted to do that before, the more I was disgusted at how I could be so selfish as to want so much more than I need all to myself. Now I see that adopting a child, or children, into our life would be a form of giving back to God, a way of showing our thanks to him for our blessed lives. And it would also be showing such love to children who may have not felt love shown to them before.

I am eager to meet and welcome any person that God wants to be in my life, and if this person is a new sibling, then all the more better.

Alex feels the same way too, but he wasn't required to write a letter; I guess they figure older teens tend to have more problems with new siblings than younger kids? I don't know. Anyway, I am so proud of our kids, that they have such big hearts and want to open up our family in this way! I love you guys! :)

Another Ugandan Boy?

I finally got an email from Jalia at Royal Orphanage in Uganda today, about another older boy we could adopt along with Kato Fred:

I am thinking of Rogers. He traveled with the choir in 2006 to America, he is about 15 or 16 now and in high school, he is a good boy and sings well.

Jalia

Her emails are always so tantalizing – you’re left wanting more. : ) I have so many questions, but she apparently has an ancient computer that is really slow, and a dial-up connection. Thankfully, the Tuckers will probably be going there at the beginning of November to pick up their children (yay!), and they can meet him, and get more information about him, and Kato as well. They are hoping to get a laptop donated for Jalia as well to take to her when they go, so she can be more connected.

This is a video about the choir who came in 2006, and what they were raising money for (thankfully, the new school and orphanage has now been built). I guess Rogers may be one of the boys in there:

And More Precious Boys

Well, I found out that from Eileen that the two older boys she had told me about from Kolfe, Binyam and Efrim, actually have a sister, so there are three of them that need a family. Right now, we still really feel like we are supposed to adopt two boys, so they are probably not the ones for us.

It is so hard though, once you have heard about specific children needing families, and seen their pictures – it feels like you are rejecting them if you don’t choose them, even though they don’t know about it.

Solomon, Eileen’s adopted son who is in Ethiopia (he was too old to be legally adopted, but they have adopted him into their family anyway), sent her this email and picture of two more brothers at Kolfe who need a family:

Bikes and Ayanaw
Bikes is 15 years old and his younger brother is 14. They have no any siblings and relatives. They came to Kolfe before 7 years ago. Ayanaw is grade 9 student and Bikes is grade 8 student. I asked them if they need a family that helps them and they said they are very happy if they get a good family that share they problem and they also said to you thank you for what are you doing now for them.

We are also still waiting to hear back from Jalia, about another possible boy we could adopt along with Kato Fred. Thank you so much for your prayers for us!

How We Spend Our Days

I went to the Pure Life women’s conference in New York this past weekend, and was really encouraged by Lynette Lewis’ word on Saturday night. She talked about being a hero -- that we are all called and chosen by God for great things, but we also choose to be chosen. It sounds kind of strange, but I know what she means -- we have to make the choice to step into what God has for us, to just walk forward. And we can also choose not to.

In Crazy Love, Francis Chan says:

Most of us use “I’m waiting for God to reveal His calling on my life” as a means of avoiding action. Did you hear God calling you to sit in front of the television yesterday? Or to go on your last vacation? Or exercise this morning? Probably not, but you still did it. The point isn’t that vacations or exercise are wrong, but that we are quick to rationalize our entertainment and priorities yet are slow to commit to serving God.

As Annie Dillard wrote, “How we spend our days, is, of course, how we spend our lives.”

Something to think about.

More boys needing families...

So, I have gotten a couple of email replies, one from Jalia and one from Eileen. Jalia writes:

Dear Rebecca,

Thanks for the good heart of wanting to adopt from Uganda. Yes, Kato is available and i can get you another boy.

I will pray about it and let you know soon. What age would you like???

Blessings...Jalia

I wrote back to her that we are interested in adopting two older boys, so maybe between the ages of 11 or 12 and 16. When I wrote to her before, I had told her that our family is quite musical, so if she had some boys that love music, they might be a good fit for our family; but that more than anything, we want the boys that God has chosen for our family.

I heard from Eileen today, and she sent me a picture of two older boys from Kolfe Boys Orphanage that really want a family. She said:

Here is the photo of Binyam Older about 15-16 and Efrim about 13-14. These guys were so sweet. I paid tuition for Binyam to go to school this fall. He did not pass the 10th grade national exam and he needs to get more tutoring. The director of Kolfe asked if I could help him get two boys into school and so we paid for it right there. He was so grateful and humble when Johannas told him I paid for it. He hugged and kissed me and told me he will work very hard and study. Efrim's nickname is China because he has Asian-looking eyes. They both have a beautiful smile and seem to be quite happy in spite of their circumstances. They asked me to please find them a family. I will be getting more info soon. There were 120 boys talking to me and asking me to help them and I just couldn’t get all the info I wanted then.

Please pray with us that God will give us clear direction about where to adopt from, and whom to adopt; I know He will.

I am slowly gathering all of our documents together – certified copies of birth & marriage certificates, medical reports, etc – and also trying to gather together the amount we need to get the home study started, about $2000 total. Right now I’ve been trying to sell some of the kids’ old toys on Craigslist, their old drumset, things like that. Also, we are blessed to be able to host a sweet couple from our church’s school of ministry in our home for two months, and they are paying some for food and utilities; I’m putting that into the adoption fund too. :) I know God will multiply it and provide what we need.

Loaves and Fishes

(Notes from Crazy Love by Francis Chan)

Jesus gave the loaves to his disciples and then the disciples passed them out to the crowd. Imagine if the disciples had simply held onto the food Jesus gave them, continually thanking Him for providing lunch for them…

But that is exactly what we do when we fail to give freely and joyfully. We are loaded down with too many good things, more than we could ever need, while others are desperate for a small loaf. The good things we cling to our more than money: we hoard our resources, our gifts, our time, our families…

“What are you doing right now that requires faith?”

That question affected me deeply because at the time I could think of nothing in my life that required faith…

God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through…

“If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.” (Isaiah 58:10)

We are each given different gifts and talents by our Master. The thing that matters most is how we use what we have been given, not how much we make or do compared to others. What matters is that we spend ourselves.

Uganda or Ethiopia?

This past week, four of the boys from the African Children’s Choir stayed at our house for two days. They are from Uganda, and are between 9 and 11, so it was interesting being around them, thinking, we could have boys like this in our family within the next year. Here they are, listening to one of their chaperones tell them a bedtime story:

And here they are with Alex and Trevor:

Then today, I got two emails. One was from Jodi; she sent me the link to a video of some older boys, taken at Royal School and Orphanage in Uganda, the place where she is adopting her kids and where Kato Fred is. This is the link - http://www.vimeo.com/5425469; you have to click play and wait for it to load (I don’t know how to embed videos, sorry – need to take the time to figure it out). As I watched it, especially seeing the boys who loved music, I thought -– I could totally see some of these boys in our family. (This is another great video from the orphanage, of Jalia, the lady who started it and runs it -- http://vimeo.com/5478551).

Later I got this email from Eileen, who just got back from Ethiopia:

I just got home last night and I am so excited to tell you I have several boys to recommend for adoption. I was thinking of you the entire time I was there and so many of them asked me to please find them a family. I have to get all my photos together and videos that I will be posting soon. There are two boys that are specifically special to my cousin Georgie that he asked me to tell you about. Do you have an age range in mind?? I have several older and younger... I can't wait to tell you about them!

I’m waiting to hear back from Eileen, and I’m also going to email Jalia in Uganda to ask her about another possible boy to adopt with Kato Fred, or maybe two brothers. So, please pray and agree with us that God would lead us to the specific children he has for our family. Obviously, there are so many in need, it can be overwhelming.