Prayer Needs

Trevor and I leave today for Ethiopia to bring Zerihun and Melaku home! So excited!!!

We have also had some encouraging developments in Meseret's situation this last week -- I have found a school that is willing to admit her here in town! So, if she can get a student visa, she can come here and study until she graduates from high school, and then go on to college.

In order to get a visa, she needs to get a passport, and to get a passport, she needs an ID card. I'm not really clear on how she gets this, but all I know is that the social worker has been talking to her older brother and older sister, who live in Addis, about helping her to get it (maybe she would have to live with them for a bit? -- not sure), and neither is willing to help her.

I don't know why this is, but while I'm there, I'm going to be trying to figure out how to help her get this ID card. I'll be meeting with the siblings as part of Zerihun's going-away family visit, so I can talk to them at that time, hopefully help them overcome whatever obstacles would keep them from helping.

Please pray for me for favor and open doors! Somehow while I'm there, I would really like to get all these arrangements taken care of, and make sure the process is well on its way for Meseret.

Thank you!

Traveling soon!

We heard back from the Embassy after the holiday, and they gave us the date of July 28th for our visa appointment. After we got that confirmed, I reserved our flights; we're leaving July 22nd (arriving in Addis the evening of July 23rd) and will arrive back in NC the night of July 31st.

I'm so happy that Trevor decided to go with me; that will be a big help, and great for him to get to know the boys and see what their home country is like. We are going several days earlier than our Embassy appointment to allow time to visit with the boys' relatives and do some sightseeing and shopping.

I am hoping we can spend a good bit of time with Meseret as well. I'm not sure if she's still in school right now, or out on break, but I hope she can come stay with us some. I'm still working on trying to find a way to bring her here; hoping that a local Christian school will be willing to admit her.

The director of the orphanage told me that the boys are so excited, counting down the days till we arrive. :) :) :) Me too!!

CLEARED!

We just got the email today that our case has been cleared by the Embassy, and we can travel to bring the boys home!!! Woohooo!! (and FINALLY!)

The earliest dates available for visa appointments at the Embassy are the week of July 25th, so hopefully we'll be able to travel that week, but we won't have it confirmed till after the holiday weekend. It will probably just be me traveling this time, since flights are so much more expensive now than they were in January; but Trevor may possibly go with me too, using his graduation money to travel to Africa for the first time (everyone else in our family has been except him :)).

We have almost got their room finished -- don't ask me why it's taken us so long :P -- but we recently had some of the kids' friends come and help them paint the room, and when James was visiting last weekend he and Lindsay worked on refinishing a dresser for the boys.

(Below are pictures, with Darren's edits added; he sent these pictures in letters to the boys, showing them what we've been doing to get their room ready.)

Final stage

Still no word that we can travel to pick up the boys (!), but we have at least gotten a couple of updates. Our case was submitted to the Embassy about a week or so ago, and they are reviewing all the documents. In the last week, we have gotten a couple of emails sent from the Embassy to our agency requesting more information to be added to a couple of the documents. They aren't complicated things, thankfully, and hopefully won't take too long to get. Once they get these updated documents, we will get an email from them saying that our case is cleared, and giving us some possible dates to travel.

I know that the boys will be here soon (maybe in July?), but I really do feel like that mom at the end of her pregnancy who is huge and about to bust. Everyone is asking when the baby will be here, and you just don't know. You have pretty much resigned yourself to the fact that he will never come out, and you will probably be pregnant forever. And then it seems like all of the sudden he's here and you can't imagine him ever not being there, being such a huge part of your life.

The boys with letters from us

Darren is going with Alex and Trevor on a father-son camping trip this weekend; I was SO hoping that the boys would be here by now and would be able to go too. And today is Zerihun's birthday, and it's hard not to be with him!

But this encouraged me this morning:

"Do I bring to the moment of birth,

and not give delivery?" says the Lord.

(Isaiah 66:9)

Birth certificates and letters!

We just received the boys' birth certificates! Their names are Zerihun Darren Phillips and Melaku Darren Phillips. In Ethiopia, people take their father's first name as their last name, so I think that's why they give adopted kids their adoptive father's name as their middle name. It is so cool to see the official documents with our names listed as their mother and father.

They put Zerihun's birthday in June 1996, so he is 14, turning 15 next month. That makes him and Alex almost twins, because Alex just turned 15 in May. :) They put Melaku's birthday as February 2001, so he is 10.

The pictures are funny - Z looks mad and Melaku looks like someone scared him right as they were taking it - but I'm just so happy that things are moving along! I think they will be able to submit everything to the Embassy next week, so please continue to pray that there won't be any hold-ups in that process, and that we can bring them home soon!

We also got three letters with some pictures from Melaku this week -- one to Darren and me, one to Lindsay and Alex, and one to Justin and Trevor (not sure why he divides them up that way...:)) -- and I also got a very sweet letter from Zerihun. Here are some excerpts:

Dear Mom,

I am very excited to see you again for the last time and then we will be together forever, but I am praying and waiting for you...If I don't have homework I will write more letters, and I know that you are busy but you are still writing letters for me and for Messi and Melaku. Mothers are always mothers and kind for their son and for everyone and my mom is just like that. And I always miss her and love her. I think I will see you soon. God be with you -

Love,

Zerihun Phillips

Finished and approved!

Our adoption of Zerihun and Melaku was officially approved by the court in Ethiopia back in March, and at that point we were told it would take about 6 weeks for the U. S. Embassy process, until we could go pick up the boys. But 6, 7 and 8 weeks came and went, and we had no word at all about what was happening - frustrating to say the least! Apparently, even though we had passed court, they the would not release the official adoption decree right away; I think they wanted more information or documents. And until this adoption decree is released, the agency can't get birth certificates and passports for the boys, and turn the file in to the U.S. Embassy for them to process it.

But this week, we finally got the great news that our case is finally "finished and approved" by the Ethiopian court and the adoption decree was received:

We got the court decision today for Melaku and Zerihun Philips. We should have the translated court decision sometime next week as well as the birth certificates. Possibly we will be able to submit the file to the embassy by June 1st. We will keep you updated.

We still can't plan the trip to bring them home, because the Embassy has to review the file once they receive it, but we are closer to that point. This is what they told us the process is once the file is submitted to the Embassy:

It typically take the embassy 1-2 weeks to review the file. At that point, the embassy may ‘clear’ the case, or they may ask for clarifying information. Of course, AAI must answer any questions the embassy may have concerning any given case. Once the embassy ‘clears’ the case, they will email your family directly to inform you the case has cleared and will request that your family select three possible dates that would be acceptable for your family to complete the visa interview process. Then the embassy will respond by confirming one of the three dates. At that point, you make travel arrangements.

So, we are encouraged, and trying to still be patient. Please pray that the file will be submitted quickly, and that the Embassy will review it quickly and have no issues. We will also need to raise more funds for this trip, as flight prices have gone up quite a bit, so pray for all the funds we need to come in.

Hopefully these two awesome boys will be here soon!

(Pictures taken by my awesome friend Mandie, who has been a big support to me through this whole process; she took the pictures when she delivered all the Christmas presents to all the kids at Layla House. :))

GREAT NEWS!

We passed court!!!! Zerihun and Melaku are officially our sons!!!

We got an email today from our agency -"We had news today that two cases have passed court sometime in the last few days. These are Melaku and Zerihun Philips." :):):):):)

This is such a relief. We still have some process to go through on the U.S. side that they say will take approximately 6 weeks - getting new birth certificates and passports for them, medical appointments, etc - but at least we're not dealing with the unknowns of the adoption slowdown on the Ethiopian side.

I am so happy!!!

Ups and Downs

This has been kind of a rough week for me. About a week ago I heard the news that Ethiopia was planning to cut back on their processing of international adoptions by 90% starting on March 10th (see article here - http://bit.ly/hbt8PQ). We were supposed to have our final court date last Tuesday, March 8th, so I was really hopeful that we would pass before this slowdown went into effect. But then we found out that the recommendation letter we needed from MOWA (the Ministry of Women's Affairs - the department planning to "slow down" on the 10th) had not been received by our court date, so the adoption wasn't finalized.

We are very concerned, especially because of Z's age. His current birth certificate (which was created last year) shows him as 14, turning 15 in June; but the doctors who have examined him apparently think he is 15, turning 16. Under U.S. law, we have to file for his adoption in the U.S. before he turns 16, and we can't do that until the adoption is finalized in Ethiopia.

Anyway, please pray with us that this one letter we are waiting on from MOWA will be received very soon and that we will pass court!

In the midst of this, though, I have been encouraged and built up so much by my awesome family and friends. On the day we learned we had not passed court, I was really upset, and Darren and the boys were out playing golf for the day. When they got home, though, all three boys came in and just hugged me and hung out with me and encouraged me so much, and Darren made dinner. :)

I've had a lot of friends encouraging me and letting me know they're praying, but I had one friend who basically said to me, "You're not alone! I'm here in this fight with you!" and started brainstorming and making calls and figuring out what our next step should be. She has been through this process herself, adopting internationally and dealing with all the ups and downs and bureaucracy, so she knows what it's like; and she is definitely a fighter! She encouraged me so much to not just be discouraged, but to get up and do something!

And just today, I heard from another friend that she and her husband want to give us $500 for our adoption! I know that this is truly a sacrificial gift for them, and it really touched me.

Every financial gift we have been given through this whole process has been such a blessing to me, so humbled me. It has shown me so much how God's heart is for the orphan, because he promised to be a father to the fatherless. I believe when we step up and say, God, I want to be your hands and feet in this earth - father (and mother) the fatherless through me! - then he brings heaven's resources to our aid.

But it is also a battle, because every one of those children is precious to God, and a potential world-changer, and the enemy wants them to stay in their despair and hopelessness. So when we decide to reach out to them, he throws up obstacle after obstacle in our path.

But we have a mighty God who fights for us, and teaches us how to fight. In church this morning, the message was about victory, and this verse (Psalm 44:3) encouraged me:

It was not by their sword that they won the land,

nor did their arm bring them victory;

it was your right hand, your arm, and the light of your face,

for you loved them.

...And wait some more...

I haven't updated since we've been back because the last 6 (!) weeks we have just been basically waiting. As I mentioned earlier, when we met Melaku's aunt at court, we found out he had siblings that we had not known about, and that were not listed in his file. It's a big deal when all the info in the file is not correct, so they had to have his aunt come back in at a later date and give all the correct info about his family. She did that, but apparently they also had to therefore have a new court date, which was set for March 8th. Hopefully everything will be finalized that day on the Ethiopian side.

Then, we have to wait some more for the U.S. visas to be processed, which typically takes about a month or so; so we're thinking at this point we'll probably be going back sometime in April to bring the boys back -- hopefully sooner!

The only way we can communicate with them is through letters carried back and forth by adoptive parents who travel there, so it's not too fast. We have sent letters to them a couple of times since we came back, and received some that were actually written before we traveled there in January. We've only gotten one letter from Z so far, but we've gotten lots from Melaku; he goes to school there at Layla House, and I think they have the kids write to their parents pretty frequently. Here is one of his letters:

"I love you my family. I'm so happy for my family. I miss you my family. I am very happy to see soon my family home and my bed. I'm excited to go to America. Sunday is play time soccer ball. Manchester United and Arsnal. Manchester United name is Z-Man, Melaku, Roba, Biniam, Zemdun, Dawit. Arsnal name is Biruk, Shiferaw, Ashenafi, Abi big, Abi small, Samuel. The winner is Manchester United 16 and Arsnal 14 golls. The golls Z-Man 4, Melaku 4, Zemdun 4, Dawit 3, Biniam 1 Bye Bye."

We also got a letter from Meseret which was sweet:

"Dear my family,

I am so fine and merry Christmas to all of you and thank you for that letter sent to me and I am so happy that you adopt us!!! Now I am learning and everything is fine. Thank you so much for everything!!! I love you so much all of you!!"

We needed about $6000 more for our final (yay!) expenses for this last trip, and about a week ago a good friend of ours told us that God spoke to her to give us $3500 of that! What an awesome, amazing blessing that was! So we are very close, only needing about $2500 more. 

Please pray with us for this final amount to come in, and especially for everything to go smoothly on March 8, so that we can bring the boys home soon!

Process so far

I was talking to some friends yesterday at church who are very interested in international adoption, and one thing we were talking about is how complicated and intimidating the process can be when you're first thinking about it, and also how expensive it is. This is all true, but the good thing is that it doesn't all happen at once - the process and the fees that are due are spread out over many months, and you kind of learn what to do and raise the money as you go along.

Looking back over the year+ that we've been going through this adoption process, and this is what it has been for us so far:

- Contacted Amazing Grace, a local adoption agency, to start the home study process - Sept 2009
- Gathering documents, doing required training, etc - Sept-Dec 2009
- Started home study - Jan 2010
- Started home study again - Mar 10, 2010 (we had to start over with a new social worker for various reasons, but mostly because our previous one was about to have a baby)
- Decided on Ethiopia, and applied with AAI (Adoption Advocates International) - Mar 2010
- Finished home study - June 2010 (and began looking at AAI's dvds and info on their waiting children)
- Gathering documents for dossier - June-Aug 2010
- Dossier sent to Ethiopia - Aug. 26, 2010
- Chose the boys - Sept. 28, 2010
- Case submitted to court - Oct 29, 2010
- Court date assigned - Dec 16, 2010
- Court date - Jan 17, 2011

We were kind of slow getting going, mostly because it took one of us (**cough** Darren **cough**) a while to finish all the required training (10 hours each, including online courses and reading books). :) Also, when we started out, we were still praying and deciding about where to adopt from, Ethiopia or Uganda; we really only settled on Ethiopia in March, after adoptions were shut down in Uganda for several months. Some people go through this process much more quickly than we did, especially if they already know which country they're adopting from and which agency they're using, or sometimes even which specific children they want to adopt.

Ethiopia Day 2 - Court day

Monday was court day! We thought the boys' relatives were going in the morning, and us in the afternoon, but apparently the court called and said they wanted us all there in the morning. I was glad because we got to meet Z's older brother, and Melaku's aunt. We went there with another couple who is adopting a baby, and it was crowded; we waited around for a while to be called in.

I tried to talk to Melaku's aunt while we were waiting and get more information about his family, because we have nothing, really -- his file has no info about when his parents died, no siblings. I called Zerihun over to translate, and one of the first things the aunt said was that Melaku has four brothers and one sister that live out in the countryside, some older and some younger! I was flabbergasted. We had to go in to court, but later we sat down with her with a social worker to try to get more info, and she said the same thing. She did say some of them were children of a stepmother, which doesn't make sense because the father died first -= anyway, we have to get it all straightened out, because apparently she told the judge he has siblings, and the paperwork didn't have that info, and they have to have it for the adoption to be finalized.

When we went in to talk to the judge (us and the other couple), she asked us various questions like what did our other children think about the adoption, were we learning about Ethiopia and planning to teach our new children their heritage, etc. I ended up answering most of the questions for all of us, because no one else was speaking up - I didn't know this till afterwards, but apparently Darren and the other couple couldn't understand a word the judge was saying! She spoke English well, just spoke very quietly. They were waiting till I answered to hear what the question was. :)

At the end, she told the other couple that their baby was now theirs, but she told us that they would let us know later. Apparently this is very common, when some of the paperwork is not complete. We found out later that they were missing one recommendation because the women's ministry had been closed the Friday before, and also that they will need Melaku's aunt to come in again and give a statement about his siblings. It was hard not walking out of there knowing the boys are officially ours -- but everyone tells us these things should pose no problem. Please do pray that they won't.

The boys had gone with us to court, because often the judge wants to talk to older kids to make sure they consent to the adoption, but she didn't ask to speak with them (for which Z was very relieved! :)).

After court

We found out that as of right now, Zerihun's birth certificate says he was born on June 17, 1996, which would make him a month or so younger than Alex; but the doctors think he is probably a year older than that, so they will probably add a year when the official birth certificate is made.

Later that afternoon we went shopping for a bit, to a silk factory and a basket shop, and that evening to an Ethiopian dinner with traditional dances from many of the country's main tribes (like Oromo (Z's tribe), Gurage (Melaku's tribe), Amhara, Somali, and Tigrai). The dances were really interesting to watch - they do a lot of neck and shoulder jerking moves which are amazing, and in one dance, a woman spins her head and hair around and around, really fast, which gave me a headache just watching. The boys got to go with us to all of this too, which was awesome (they can't be out with us alone till the adoption is finalized and the papers are in hand, but we had one of the social workers from Layla with us, so it was more of a field trip).

Ethiopian dinner

Court date!!!

We finally got our court date - January 17th! We're so excited - we get to travel and meet the boys and spend time with them, and officially adopt them in Ethiopia! They notified us a week ago, on Dec. 16, but I've been so busy making arrangements I haven't had time to post.

Alex is going to go with us, and Lindsay will fly up from Tanzania to meet us as well. We will leave here Jan. 14th, and arrive late the night of the 15th. The next day is a Sunday, and we'll go over to Layla House and see the boys for the first time! I can't wait! We can spend all day with them that day; during the week they'll be in school, so we can spend afternoons and evenings with them at Layla (though our court date is on Monday, so they will probably go with us to that). We'll be in Addis Ababa for 5 days, so we'll do some sightseeing as well.

After Darren and I leave, Alex will fly back to Tanzania with Lindsay and spend 2 weeks with her there, helping her with the orphanage and school and whatever she's doing. They will also visit Alex Juma, the boy we sponsor with Compassion, who lives just a couple of hours outside of Arusha, where Lindsay lives, which will be an awesome experience for them too.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support. We have been able to raise about half of the remainder of our adoption fees, and half of our trip fees, but we need the rest in the next 3 weeks, about $4000, so I really appreciate your continued prayers and agreement with us.

We certainly got an awesome Christmas present this year! :) And next year the boys will be with us. :) :) :)

Still waiting...

It's been over a month, and we are still waiting for our court date (impatiently, I might add!). We are hoping/believing for a January date. We are still working for and raising the rest of the funds we will need, and have had some more contributions come in. My aunt and uncle actually gave a donation for our adoption in the names of each of their three daughters and their families for Christmas; that was such a blessing. We also had an unexpected check come in the mail - our health insurance company (Blue Cross) sent us a refund check of almost two months' premiums! That went into the pot as well. :)

We did get a short update recently about the boys; a volunteer at Layla House spent some time with them, and sent us an email and pictures. This is from his email:

"I got to spend a *ton* of time with Melaku while I was at Layla. We met at lunch the first day and then I went to Math class with him and did some reading. After that, we spent a good amount of time together every day. He is a *fantastic* kid and very smart. In Math class, he had the problems written down and solved before the teacher had even finished explaining them. Being an engineer myself, I thought that was pretty cool. He is very excited to come home and join your family. We spent some time talking about North Carolina and he showed me the "book" you sent him. All in all, I can't say enough about him. He's just a great kid.

I met Zerihun on one of the last couple of days I was there. He, Melaku, and I played some soccer. Both of those kids are amazing soccer players. I weep for the American kids that they will play against :-) Zerihun is also a great kid. He spent some time teaching me how to play and found me every day after we met to chat.

Congratulations, you are getting some wonderful additions to your family."

It is so hard to wait to see them! But we know that God's timing is perfect.

Things are moving fast!

I spoke with someone at our agency earlier this week, to try to get an idea of how long the process might take in Ethiopia, and she said that because our boys are older (Zerihun is 15, and will age out at 16), they are probably trying to move things as quickly as possible.

Then yesterday, we got an email from the lady in charge of this, and she said that our case has already been submitted to court, and we are just waiting for a court date to be assigned! She said it will probably be in December or January. This would be the first court date, and then we would travel again a month or so after that to bring them home.

This is really exciting, but also a bit daunting, because it gives us less time to come up with the money we need. We were just able to pay the first part of the Ethiopian fee ($4500 - thank you to those who gave generously!), and will need the final part ($5500) when our court date is assigned, as well as the money to travel. Please pray and agree with us for all that we need to come in quickly!

Bags received!

Today we received a picture of the two boys just after they received their gift bags - so awesome! It's kind of surreal to see them wearing the t-shirts I picked out, holding the photo albums I put together, knowing they're about to look through them and see their new family and home for the first time. They look really happy. :)

Our adoption agency emailed me the picture of them, and I had to email them back acknowledging that we received it. They said I should say, "I acknowledge receipt of the photo of Zerihun & Melaku Phillips." I copied the sentence, and then it kind of hit me - wow - Zerihun and Melaku Phillips. It's like when you're about to get married, and you write your new name over and over again - kind of the same feeling. It doesn't sink in at first, but after a while it just fits.

We have been getting various donations from friends and family - thank you again to all who have given!! - and should be able to send in the first portion of the payment this week. I spoke with the agency, and they said that they have already begun the process in Ethiopia, even though we haven't gotten all the funds in yet, so yay! We may be able to take our first trip for court before the end of the year!

Welcome bags :)

The first thing we get to do for our soon-to-be new sons is to put together welcome bags for them. It includes a welcome letter introducing our family; a small photo album (15 pictures max) with pictures of us, our home, our pets, etc, to help them become familiar with our lives here; a small toy, game or puzzle; and a t-shirt. When they get the welcome bag, they will put the t-shirt on, and the other children will know that they have a new family. :) :/ (both sweet, and sad)

(I had a hard time deciding what t-shirts to get, but finally settled on Carolina shirts, since they're coming to North Carolina.)

Putting all this together for me was so special, and really brought home the fact that these boys will be joining our family. I wrote the letters, saying, "Welcome to our family!" and writing some about each of us. As I wrote about Darren and me, I started by using our names, and then realized - we're not Darren and Rebecca to them, we are Mom and Dad. Wow. It was the same when I put our pictures in the photo album, and wrote on the back of the pictures who everyone is - Mom and Dad. Wow again. These are our new children, for life. It's exciting and sobering at the same time.

Adoption seemed kind of theoretical to me until we could actually put names and faces and personalities to the children we're adopting, and I kind of held my heart in check, I think. But now that I know who they are - my heart has really been opening up to them, and beginning to love them, as strange as that seems, given that I don't even know them. But it's true. I can't wait to be with them, hug them, talk to them, get to know them.

I am so impatient now especially for the money to come in that we need to start the process in Ethiopia, because every day I wait is one more day later that they will come here! After we get that portion of the funds ($4500), we'll have a month or two to come up with the second portion, the final adoption fees and the money for our first trip. I know God is in control, and his timing is perfect - it's just hard to be patient sometimes! :)

(If you'd like to give to our adoption fund, you can go here - http://projecthopeful.org/ - click on the purple "Donate" button, and give using Paypal; make sure to write "Phillips adoption" in the Purpose line. Thanks!)

Woohoo!!

A few days ago we officially chose the two boys we are going to adopt!! They are Zerihun, age 15, and Melaku, age 9. Zerihun is the brother I mentioned in my last post, whose sister was found to be over 18. The director spoke with him this past week, and asked him whom he would want to go to America with if he could choose, and he thought about it for a day or so, and came back to her and said, "I choose Melaku!" We didn't want to only go on his word, of course, but we heard back from some people who know him, as well as the social workers there at the orphanage, and they all felt that this would be a good match.

This is a little bit about each boy:

Zerihun - a mom who knows him well wrote me this about him - "Z is unbelievably smart... I was taken aback by his outlook on life, and his plan for the future. He really wants to be the 'hope' for Ethiopia, and do well in the States so that he can return and make changes in ET. He's an amazing kid, and whoever gets to be his parents will be very lucky. He is a peacekeeper, often seen breaking up arguments between the younger boys... He's quiet and the thinker, too... He likes to draw, beat the pants off me in UNO, and play soccer. His english is excellent, and writing is good, too... He broke my heart on the last day I was there, when he said to me... "Can I ask you something?... Why do Americans only want babies? They always come for babies, and not so many older kids..." I told him that some Americans do want older kids... but that a lot of families are scared to take a kid who already has a mind of his own... but that the 'perfect family for him was out there, and that they would find him soon'.

A girl who volunteered at the orphanage for the past two summers, wrote this to me - "Curious and intelligent, Z likes to do experiments. One time he gathered together an old water bottle, stray cotton balls, some sand, gravel, and dirty water, and figured out how to make a simple water purification system. He does very well in school (received an award while I was there) and likes to follow his curiosities and read about things that catch his interest. As you’ll read in the blog (note - this is the link to her post about him - http://addisunderground.blogspot.com/2010/08/guitar-lessons.html), he likes making music too. He did well teaching his peers what he had learned, directing them in an almost jocund manner. The guitar was the first time I think I saw him really smile."

Zerihun's older sister, Meseret, is currently in a boarding school in Addis Ababa, so we will support her there, and hopefully in the future we can bring her over as well.

Melaku - This is what the girl who volunteered there wrote about him - "Melaku is no pushover. He can hold his own. By this I do not infer that he is argumentative or defiant, simply that he is not overly sensitive and though the children have occasional disagreements, he handles them wisely. He is sure to express his view, hear another out, and when the matter is settled to drop it. He holds no grudges. He is helpful towards the younger children, and plays well with the older ones. He is the smallest but feistiest goalie in Layla and one of only a few younger children sturdy enough to play with the big boys.

Melaku nearly always rushed after me to help carry supplies for activities and classes whenever I taught. I have a photo of him and Yirgalem carrying baskets on their heads one afternoon – it was a signature moment. Always my little helper. He likes math and is good at it. We spent several hours over the summer doing flash cards and problem sets during activities time. Guess who had the idea. Certainly not me. I’m a music major. Melaku liked to pull out math supplies whenever I took down games like legos and puzzles for activities.

In class he paid as much attention as one can expect of a 7/8 year old (note - our agency says he's 9). He isn’t afraid to raise his hand or try new things; he enjoys writing on the board, giving examples, and helps other kids with their work. All in all, fairly mature for his age – though you could say that for most of the children considering how much they have been through.

Meluku and I shared many things in common: a love for music and music-making, our favorite color is red, we both enjoy sports, we like to draw,etc. He has a comforting steadiness and a peaceful spirit uncommon for such a small boy. I recall one very hectic afternoon when I had to combine two classes because of a shortage of teachers. At the time I as the only volunteer in the compound and so group two and group 1b went into the library. In the midst of finding, replacing, and reading books, Melaku asked if he could read to me. In his hands he held the first book I ever read to my dad: Go, Dog, Go. I sat with fascination as this small boy read nearly every single word of that book without halting."

These are the new Phillips boys! We are all very excited. They will begin the process there in Ethiopia, and in a couple of months or so Darren and I will travel there for a court date, and to meet the boys. :) :) Then we'll come back for a bit, and maybe a month or so later we'll be able to travel back and bring them home. :) :) :)

Please pray for us, for all the funds that we still need to come in - for the remaining fees, and for all of our travel costs.

the roller coaster

It's been a couple of weeks of ups and downs. We have all of our documents finished, our dossier is in Ethiopia, ready and waiting - and it has been so hard to know who we're supposed to adopt! We originally felt we were supposed to adopt two older boys - and we still pretty much feel that way, though we're open to a girl as well - but in the orphanages of the agency we have chosen to work with in Ethiopia, there is only one set of brothers that fit that criteria. We are praying about them, and getting more information, but we didn't feel immediately drawn to them, which made me feel bad. (down)

Then last week, a friend who has adopted from Ethiopia, and was just there last month, told me about an brother and sister that she thinks are really awesome. She described them to me, and connected me with another mom who knows them well, who also told me a lot about them. She said they were around 13 and 15, or 14 and 16 (many of the kids don't really know exactly how old they are).

Part of what drew me was the fact that they are older, and close to getting to the point where they can't be adopted. When God was first speaking to me about adoption, that was what was on my heart - giving a home to older children who don't have much chance of being adopted. I couldn't get this brother and sister off my mind and heart, and Darren and the boys also felt really drawn to them. (up)

So I emailed our agency and told them we were interested in them and asked for their files; only to find out the very next day that the girl had just been determined to be over 18 years old (!), and thus is too old to be adopted. (back down)

I talked some more with our agency, and they are waiting to find out if the brother is going to be released to be adopted on his own (the sister is going to be placed into a boarding school for now, along with 5 other girls who were recently determined to be over 18). Because they have so many older single boys available for adoption, and because of some changes in government policy which mean a lot of these older kids will have to be moving out of the orphanage and going to local schools, they are now more willing to consider people adopting two or more unrelated older boys. (partway back up)

The director of our agency is going to Ethiopia this week, and she is going to talk to the local social workers and see if they feel some of these older unrelated boys (including the brother) would do well together in families, and let us know. She is also going to get more information about the two brothers for us. Hopefully we'll hear from her later this week.

I think I'm ready to get off the roller coaster now, and onto the kiddie rides.

Where we are...

Since my last post:

- Darren and I finished the Brian Post training - it was really good, and I think it will definitely be helpful in the future. I mean, we have had the normal challenges with our children, but we have never dealt with kids who have had serious trauma and difficulty in their lives; so it was good to get some insight about children like that, and some good tools to deal with them.

- Darren, Justin and I went to the local U.S. Customs & Immigration office to be fingerprinted (everyone over the age of 18 living in your house has to do this for an adoption). It was a pretty quick process, but goodness, they are serious about their rules and security there! Stand exactly here, sit exactly there, and heaven forbid if you try to take out a cell phone while waiting in the security line - they almost tackled some poor guy who did that. I can understand their concern, but it still seemed a bit over the top. I guess I showed my ignorance of the 21st century when I asked the fingerprint guy, "You mean you don't do fingerprints with ink any more?" (Apparently they haven't for quite a while.) They do it right on a computer screen, no inky fingertips necessary, which is nice.

- We got a card in the mail today from AAI saying that our dossier has been sent to Ethiopia! So as soon as we identify the children we want to adopt, the process can begin over there.

- We have been looking at files of several sibling groups, and right now are waiting to get some more information about them. The agency here in the U.S. has basic info, but if you have more detailed questions, they send them to the social worker at the orphanage, and wait to hear back. Please continue to pray for us for wisdom and clear discernment about who to adopt.

- We said goodbye to Lindsay today - she was here for a quick visit, and is heading back to New York, and then will leave for Tanzania in a week!... which is both :) and :(. Hopefully, we will be heading over to Ethiopia while she's there, so we can "drop by" for a visit, or she can meet us in Ethiopia. There's only one country, Kenya, between the two - that's not so far, right? :)

Choosing

I got my previous to-do list done - applied for two adoption loans (waiting to hear right now) - but then we found out that we actually had to get some additional training finished before our dossier could be sent to Ethiopia. AAI had sent us a training seminar on dvd by Brian Post called "Healing for the Attachment Challenged Child," and we are almost finished with it. It has been really helpful, actually - a lot of great information and techniques - and I'm sure we'll come back to it in the future.

Mainly right now we are in the "choosing" phase. So far we have received two dvds of waiting children in Ethiopia, and have been looking through them, praying about various sibling groups, getting more information about them, etc. To me it is actually the most difficult part.

Previously I was focused on getting documents together, training, things like that, which took time but were fairly straightforward. Now, we have to decide which children will become part of our family, forever. It can be overwhelming, looking at so many children who all need homes and families, trying to discern which ones God is leading us to.

Please pray for us, for wisdom, discernment, and clear direction from God.