Preparation, and the Equation

Even though it’s really been just in the last two months that I have seriously been thinking about adoption, and moving in that direction, I’ve been thinking back, and there have been many things that have brought me (and Darren) to this point. The first time I remember really thinking about the possibility of adoption was in Hong Kong, when one of the ladies I knew was fostering a little Chinese girl from an orphanage there, and she brought her to a mom’s meeting I went to. Even then, I thought I would really like to do that – maybe foster some of the orphaned babies, or even adopt – but my own kids were so young at the time, and I just didn’t have the energy. But Darren and I did talk about it at that time, the possibility of one day adopting a little girl from China.

When we returned to the U.S., I would read articles about kids in the foster system needing homes, and just feel such compassion for them. I thought off and on about fostering. Then in 2005, Justin and I went to Zambia to work with an orphanage there, and I was so touched by the couple who had started it. It just started one child at a time, as they came across children who needed homes, whose parents had died of AIDS, or were in other difficult situations. They just started taking them in, one after the other, and so their orphanage grew. It challenged me – I wanted to do that, to just take in and care for children with no home or family.

I read books about people who adopted, who had large families of kids from all over the world, or about others who started orphanages (like Heidi Baker in Mozambique, and Haregewoin Teferra in Ethiopia) and I was so drawn to those stories. But inside me, there was always something saying, “Well, they are different. They have this grace or that ability or this circumstance that makes it easier for them to do those kinds of things.”

Then, in the last year or so, especially after Justin graduated and pretty much moved out, I have started to feel really restless. I have had more time and energy with only the two boys left at home, and felt that God was moving me into a new phase in my life; so I have just been praying and trying to figure out what he wants me to do. I have been working with Friends of Mirembe to help support the African Children’s Choir, and have done some work with other orphan ministries; but I knew there was something more for me to do.

And, my house has been really bugging me. We have this huge home, just made for kids, and especially teens (with the basement to hang out in), and only the two boys left at home. I know that God blessed us with this house for a reason. But every time I would walk by Lindsay’s and Justin’s empty rooms, they would really bother me. I started to feel like we either needed to sell our home and downsize, or fill those rooms somehow. I even offered Justin’s room to my cousin’s son, who needed a place to live for a while, and he has been living here for a few months; but I knew that wasn’t a long-term solution.

So, the equation thus far has been:

compassion for orphans + more time/energy + lots of unused space in our house = ?

And I think God is saying all of that = adopt some more kids.:)

To-Do List

The day after I got back from the retreat, in prayer, God gave me a to-do list, one after the other:

• Get the home study process started.
  Even though I still couldn’t say absolutely that this was going to happen, I felt like we needed to start walking in that direction. I did that – got the info from Jodi about the agency she used, contacted them, and got the process started.
• Look into Ethiopia and Uganda, about adopting older children.
  For Uganda - I have been talking to Jodi to get more information about Kato Fred and maybe other older boys who are connected to him and available for adoption from the orphanage director. She just got a reply back from the director today, saying that he is available for adoption, and that he is 10 years old, in 5^th grade. :)
  
  For Ethiopia -- One of the things Eileen shared with Karen and me on the way to the retreat was about an orphanage she visited in Ethiopia called the Kolfe Boy’s Orphanage. It is a home for mostly older boys, that have no real hope of being adopted. She said it broke her heart, because the boys were so sweet and friendly, and happy to have them visiting; but the orphanage itself was in awful condition – windows broken out, just a big empty room for a cafeteria (no tables or chairs), a “kitchen” where they basically just cooked in a beaten up pot over a fire (this is her post about her first visit there -- http://jobsdaughters.blogspot.com/2007/11/forgotten-boys.html). When she got back, she wrote about it in her blog, and over the past couple of years she has raised tens of thousands of dollars to help renovate the orphanage.
  
  As she shared about the boys, my heart was really touched. So, when God said to look into Ethiopia, that was my first thought. I knew that Eileen was going back for a visit (she’s actually there right now), so I wrote her and told her the same thing I had told Jodi – that God was speaking to me about adopting a couple of older boys, and I wasn’t sure from where, but would she just be open to the Holy Spirit’s leading while she is there, if there were a couple of brothers that felt might be possibilities for us to adopt.

I really feel like God is going to do something in our church, that He is going to move on many families to adopt orphans, and these next three things all relate to that:

• Talk to my book club.
  These are all my closest friends, and I felt I should share with them what God has been speaking to me about adoption. I did that the next night at our meeting, and they were all very encouraging and excited.
• Order the book Small Town, Big Miracle.
  It’s about a little church of 200 in Texas, where the pastor and his wife adopted some children, and it spread through their church until their church had adopted 72 children). I did that, and read it already – amazing story.
• Start a blog.
  I didn't want to, because I'm not really into putting my life out there for anyone to see. There are a lot of blogs, and even a lot by people who have adopted kids from all over, so I'm thinking, what is the purpose of me putting one more out there? But I really feel like God wants to move on his church, and our church in particular, to become his arms to reach out and begin to gather in the millions of orphans in the world. And I felt like he said to me that my circle of influence is a different circle from everyone else out there, though it may overlap somewhat, so I can reach out to different people than someone else could -- like God is tossing pebbles in a pond in different locations, causing the ripples to spread out and overlap one another, to reach the whole pond, so to speak. So I'm doing this out of obedience. :)

God’s Provision, and the Family Talk

When I got home from the retreat, Darren told me that during the weekend while I was gone, he had rented or sold four of our vacant properties (and one other a couple of days before I left), one of them with a huge down payment! That has never happened before – that many in such a short time. We had had so many vacancies, and as I said, finances overall have been a major concern for me about pursuing adoption. I knew this was God saying, “See – I can do anything! I am not limited by any circumstances, and I will provide for your every need, every step of the way.”

All four of our kids happened to be home that weekend, so I wanted to go ahead share with them what God had been speaking to me, and for Darren and me to tell them about the possibility of us adopting another child. So we sat them all down, and I shared all of this with them. They were all excited about the possibility, and we talked over what it might be like bringing new members into our family, especially with Trevor and Alex, since they are the main ones still living here at home. Alex said he kind of wanted to still be the youngest kid. I said I didn’t know how old the boy we adopted would be, but he might be younger. I told him, though, that one of the reasons I felt like we should adopt an older boy was that he and Trevor could be brothers he could look up to and learn from, just like they look up to Justin and learn from him.

We all prayed together, which was awesome, and afterwards, Alex said, “I think we should adopt more than one.” Trevor said he did too. I asked why, and they didn’t really have a reason; just thought we should. I said that was interesting, because the ladies I had talked to over the weekend said the same thing. They said that generally it’s recommended, when you are adopting cross-racially, to adopt more than one at a time, so that the new child doesn’t feel like the only different one in the family.

Previously, I had thought one was all I could manage. But when they said this, it just felt right to me. So we agreed, we would look for two boys. I don’t know what this means for Kato Fred, since as far as I know he has no siblings; but I know God knows where our new children are, right now (!!).

A New Thing

That weekend retreat was a real turning point for me, a line in the sand almost. I think it just kind of supernaturally stirred up my calling and destiny in God, to be used by Him to reach the world. It’s not like He’s saying I haven’t been doing what I should, in focusing on my family during this past season; but He’s tapping me, saying it’s time to step out and walk in a new direction, gird up my loins and run, so to speak.

These are some of the verses He spoke to me during the weekend:

This is what the Lord says –

he who made a way through the sea,

a path through the mighty waters…

Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

(Isaiah 43:16-19)

And again he said –

The former things will not be remembered,

nor will they come to mind.

But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create,
for I will create Jerusalem (my family) to be a delight

and its people a joy.

I will rejoice over Jerusalem

and take delight in my people;

the sound of weeping and of crying

will be heard in it no more.

(Isaiah 65:17-19)

He knows I need encouragement, reassurance about my fears, and he is so faithful.

I will go before you and will level the mountains;

I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron.

(Isaiah 45:2)

When we step out to follow him, he will go before and deal with the obstacles. They don’t immediately disappear just because we decide to follow him, but he goes before us.

(to be continued…)

Women of Faith

Meanwhile, Jodi had invited me to a women’s retreat weekend she was organizing. It was small, just 10 or so women, and I thought it was just to seek God and pray. I was looking forward to a relaxing, restful, worship-filled weekend in the mountains. I only knew a few of the women going, but it didn’t really matter to me.

Well, I got to the place we were meeting to divide up into cars for the drive up, and it turns out the three of the women had adopted children from Africa, and one was starting the process! By this point, it didn’t surprise me. :) I knew it was God taking me by the hand and leading me where he wanted me to go.

I rode up in the car with Karen, my good friend, and Eileen, who has adopted 2 Mexican children and 3 Ethiopian children. All the way up there (including a long time stuck in traffic), Eileen shared with us her story, how God led them to adopt, how he provided the money they needed, everything. It was such an incredible story, and so faith-building to me.

Eileen is a homeschool mom, in her mid-forties when she first adopted - both like me, which was very encouraging. (Did I say mid-forties? I meant mid-thirties...:)). She and her husband were $60,000 in debt when they were led to adopt, with no money even to apply, but God provided the money they need every step of the way, just in time. She shared one amazing miracle after another, stories about how God would speak to her to do something, and she would just do it, and God would do something amazing because of her obedience. Afterwards, as I told Karen, I felt like I had had faith injected directly into my veins! (You can check out Eileen’s blog at http://jobsdaughters.blogspot.com/).

I met another mom, Carolyn, at the retreat; she is also a homeschool mom about my age, with 7 biological children; she has adopted 4 children from Ethiopia in the last few years, and is in the process of adopting 2 more. Two of the children she has adopted have HIV/AIDS, and God has used her to raise up a ministry to support and encourage families to adopt HIV+ children. Her vision now is to build a home in Ethiopia for women and children with HIV/AIDS; she has the land, and has just raised the first funds to start the project (this is Carolyn’s website -http://www.projecthopeful.org).

These women are just ordinary homeschool moms like me, but they have a passion and fire that challenged me so much! There were so many more amazing women there too, that encouraged me and challenged me, especially to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading, and be obedient with what he tells me to do, because he wants to speak to me and use me too.

(to be continued…)

Next Steps

I knew that God was encouraging me, building my faith, leading me in the direction of adoption, but I wasn’t ready to say, I know this is what we’re supposed to do. I was at church one morning, and realized that Jodi was leaving in a few days for Uganda, and would be meeting the three children she is adopting at the orphanage where they currently live. I felt like the next small step I should take was to tell her that God had been moving on my heart in this area, and ask her to just keep her eyes open while she was there, to see if the Holy Spirit might lead her to an older boy needing to be adopted. She said she would (and was very excited).

Later that day, I finally shared with Darren all that God had been speaking to me in my heart, to see how he felt. I hadn’t wanted to say anything earlier, because I just wasn’t sure this was really God’s leading. It was actually very hard for me to verbalize, because it is such a big thing to me. But, I figured that if Jodi was looking for a boy for us in Uganda, maybe it was time to say something about it. :)

Darren and I have talked about adopting over the years, since the time we were in Hong Kong – he loves kids and is a great dad :) - so I knew he was open to it. I told Darren my main concern was financial, knowing how expensive overseas adoptions are, and knowing we just don’t have the funds. But he said, you just can’t say that – you can’t put a price on the life of a child. And as he said that, I remembered God leading us to Hong Kong back in 1990 – we knew he was calling us there, but didn’t have the money to move there or live there. But we walked forward anyway, and as we did, he provided every step of the way, for every need we had. I knew that our responsibility is to follow him, and he will provide as we do.

So, fast forward another week or so (this is about mid-July); Jodi gets back from Uganda, and Jerry (her husband) sends me a one-line email saying, “Just so you know…we found your son.” I think I responded, “Oh my goodness.” A little overwhelming, to say the least.:) Later Jodi sent me a couple of pictures, with this explanation:

Attached is a photo of the boy named "Kato Fred.” He is the best friend of our daughter Agnes (whom they are adopting), and a really nice boy. Agnes specifically asked me to take this photo because she said she "hoped I could help Fred be adopted also.” I think Jerry told you, Kato means "twin.” His twin died and he is alone at the orphanage. I don't have any other details about him, but of course I know how to find out. There is also a photo of him doing dishes with my girls at the guest house, which is on the compound at the orphanage (this is where we stayed). He is a great worker...your kitchen would be clean! :)

So, a new thing to add to all that I’m pondering in my heart – is this possibly our new son?

The Journey Begins

It started almost exactly two months ago, in mid-June. I went to my friend Jodi’s house for a shower for one of the African Children’s Choir chaperones who was getting married soon. During this shower, Jodi talked about the conference on orphans she had attended recently, and how one speaker in particular was very moving. He was a former African orphan who had been adopted as an older teen. He talked about how not many people want to adopt older children, but what an amazing difference it had made in his life.

As she was sharing that, I just felt such a compassion in my heart for these older orphans, giving up hope of ever being adopted after so many years. I have had a heart for orphans for a long time, and in the last few years have been working with a few different organizations that are supporting orphanages or orphans. I even went to Zambia with Justin and worked at an orphanage there. Orphans have been on my heart; but I have never really considered adopting. But when she shared about the need for older children to be adopted, I thought, “I could do that.” That was all, just a simple thought. But I really felt, deeply, that I could.

So I started pondering that in my heart. A few days later, I opened up my Bible to read. I’ve been reading in the New Testament and Old Testament both, and I was in James and Isaiah at the time. So I first read:

Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress…

(James 1:27)

Then I read:

Enlarge the place of your tent,

stretch your tent curtains wide,

do not hold back;

lengthen your cords,

strengthen your stakes.

For you will be spread out to the right and to the left…

Do not be afraid…

All your sons will be taught of the Lord,

and great will be your children’s peace.

(Isaiah 54:2-4, 13)

I knew that was God, speaking directly to me; I felt really overwhelmed with a sense of his presence, as if he were standing in front of me saying this to me.

A couple of days after that I read:

Foreigners who bind themselves to the Lord

to serve him,

to love the name of the Lord,

and to worship him…

These I will bring to my holy mountain

and give them joy in my house of prayer…

for my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations.

(Isaiah 56:6-7)

He said to me that this would be true about my house.

I started thinking and praying about our financial situation – not the greatest right now – and how we would come up with the money needed for the adoptions, as well as caring for more kids, etc; then read a few days later:

If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry, and satisfy the needs of the oppressed…the Lord…will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land, and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

(Isaiah 58:10-11)

(to be continued…)