Still waiting...

It's been over a month, and we are still waiting for our court date (impatiently, I might add!). We are hoping/believing for a January date. We are still working for and raising the rest of the funds we will need, and have had some more contributions come in. My aunt and uncle actually gave a donation for our adoption in the names of each of their three daughters and their families for Christmas; that was such a blessing. We also had an unexpected check come in the mail - our health insurance company (Blue Cross) sent us a refund check of almost two months' premiums! That went into the pot as well. :)

We did get a short update recently about the boys; a volunteer at Layla House spent some time with them, and sent us an email and pictures. This is from his email:

"I got to spend a *ton* of time with Melaku while I was at Layla. We met at lunch the first day and then I went to Math class with him and did some reading. After that, we spent a good amount of time together every day. He is a *fantastic* kid and very smart. In Math class, he had the problems written down and solved before the teacher had even finished explaining them. Being an engineer myself, I thought that was pretty cool. He is very excited to come home and join your family. We spent some time talking about North Carolina and he showed me the "book" you sent him. All in all, I can't say enough about him. He's just a great kid.

I met Zerihun on one of the last couple of days I was there. He, Melaku, and I played some soccer. Both of those kids are amazing soccer players. I weep for the American kids that they will play against :-) Zerihun is also a great kid. He spent some time teaching me how to play and found me every day after we met to chat.

Congratulations, you are getting some wonderful additions to your family."

It is so hard to wait to see them! But we know that God's timing is perfect.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

Just finished reading this book by Donald Miller, and it really inspired/encouraged me to live a meaningful life, to "live a good story" with my life. 

Loved these quotes:

"Once you live a good story, you get a taste for a kind of meaning in life, and you can’t go back to being normal; you can’t go back to meaningless scenes stitched together by the forgettable thread of wasted time."

"Here’s the truth about telling stories with your life. It’s going to sound like a great idea, and you are going to get excited about it, and then when it comes time to do the work, you’re not going to want to do it...People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain."

"I think this is when most people give up on their stories. They come out of college wanting to change the world…But they get into the middle and discover it was harder than they thought. They can’t see the distant shore any more, and they wonder if their paddling is moving them forward… and they go looking for an easier story."

Things are moving fast!

I spoke with someone at our agency earlier this week, to try to get an idea of how long the process might take in Ethiopia, and she said that because our boys are older (Zerihun is 15, and will age out at 16), they are probably trying to move things as quickly as possible.

Then yesterday, we got an email from the lady in charge of this, and she said that our case has already been submitted to court, and we are just waiting for a court date to be assigned! She said it will probably be in December or January. This would be the first court date, and then we would travel again a month or so after that to bring them home.

This is really exciting, but also a bit daunting, because it gives us less time to come up with the money we need. We were just able to pay the first part of the Ethiopian fee ($4500 - thank you to those who gave generously!), and will need the final part ($5500) when our court date is assigned, as well as the money to travel. Please pray and agree with us for all that we need to come in quickly!

Bags received!

Today we received a picture of the two boys just after they received their gift bags - so awesome! It's kind of surreal to see them wearing the t-shirts I picked out, holding the photo albums I put together, knowing they're about to look through them and see their new family and home for the first time. They look really happy. :)

Our adoption agency emailed me the picture of them, and I had to email them back acknowledging that we received it. They said I should say, "I acknowledge receipt of the photo of Zerihun & Melaku Phillips." I copied the sentence, and then it kind of hit me - wow - Zerihun and Melaku Phillips. It's like when you're about to get married, and you write your new name over and over again - kind of the same feeling. It doesn't sink in at first, but after a while it just fits.

We have been getting various donations from friends and family - thank you again to all who have given!! - and should be able to send in the first portion of the payment this week. I spoke with the agency, and they said that they have already begun the process in Ethiopia, even though we haven't gotten all the funds in yet, so yay! We may be able to take our first trip for court before the end of the year!

Welcome bags :)

The first thing we get to do for our soon-to-be new sons is to put together welcome bags for them. It includes a welcome letter introducing our family; a small photo album (15 pictures max) with pictures of us, our home, our pets, etc, to help them become familiar with our lives here; a small toy, game or puzzle; and a t-shirt. When they get the welcome bag, they will put the t-shirt on, and the other children will know that they have a new family. :) :/ (both sweet, and sad)

(I had a hard time deciding what t-shirts to get, but finally settled on Carolina shirts, since they're coming to North Carolina.)

Putting all this together for me was so special, and really brought home the fact that these boys will be joining our family. I wrote the letters, saying, "Welcome to our family!" and writing some about each of us. As I wrote about Darren and me, I started by using our names, and then realized - we're not Darren and Rebecca to them, we are Mom and Dad. Wow. It was the same when I put our pictures in the photo album, and wrote on the back of the pictures who everyone is - Mom and Dad. Wow again. These are our new children, for life. It's exciting and sobering at the same time.

Adoption seemed kind of theoretical to me until we could actually put names and faces and personalities to the children we're adopting, and I kind of held my heart in check, I think. But now that I know who they are - my heart has really been opening up to them, and beginning to love them, as strange as that seems, given that I don't even know them. But it's true. I can't wait to be with them, hug them, talk to them, get to know them.

I am so impatient now especially for the money to come in that we need to start the process in Ethiopia, because every day I wait is one more day later that they will come here! After we get that portion of the funds ($4500), we'll have a month or two to come up with the second portion, the final adoption fees and the money for our first trip. I know God is in control, and his timing is perfect - it's just hard to be patient sometimes! :)

(If you'd like to give to our adoption fund, you can go here - http://projecthopeful.org/ - click on the purple "Donate" button, and give using Paypal; make sure to write "Phillips adoption" in the Purpose line. Thanks!)

Woohoo!!

A few days ago we officially chose the two boys we are going to adopt!! They are Zerihun, age 15, and Melaku, age 9. Zerihun is the brother I mentioned in my last post, whose sister was found to be over 18. The director spoke with him this past week, and asked him whom he would want to go to America with if he could choose, and he thought about it for a day or so, and came back to her and said, "I choose Melaku!" We didn't want to only go on his word, of course, but we heard back from some people who know him, as well as the social workers there at the orphanage, and they all felt that this would be a good match.

This is a little bit about each boy:

Zerihun - a mom who knows him well wrote me this about him - "Z is unbelievably smart... I was taken aback by his outlook on life, and his plan for the future. He really wants to be the 'hope' for Ethiopia, and do well in the States so that he can return and make changes in ET. He's an amazing kid, and whoever gets to be his parents will be very lucky. He is a peacekeeper, often seen breaking up arguments between the younger boys... He's quiet and the thinker, too... He likes to draw, beat the pants off me in UNO, and play soccer. His english is excellent, and writing is good, too... He broke my heart on the last day I was there, when he said to me... "Can I ask you something?... Why do Americans only want babies? They always come for babies, and not so many older kids..." I told him that some Americans do want older kids... but that a lot of families are scared to take a kid who already has a mind of his own... but that the 'perfect family for him was out there, and that they would find him soon'.

A girl who volunteered at the orphanage for the past two summers, wrote this to me - "Curious and intelligent, Z likes to do experiments. One time he gathered together an old water bottle, stray cotton balls, some sand, gravel, and dirty water, and figured out how to make a simple water purification system. He does very well in school (received an award while I was there) and likes to follow his curiosities and read about things that catch his interest. As you’ll read in the blog (note - this is the link to her post about him - http://addisunderground.blogspot.com/2010/08/guitar-lessons.html), he likes making music too. He did well teaching his peers what he had learned, directing them in an almost jocund manner. The guitar was the first time I think I saw him really smile."

Zerihun's older sister, Meseret, is currently in a boarding school in Addis Ababa, so we will support her there, and hopefully in the future we can bring her over as well.

Melaku - This is what the girl who volunteered there wrote about him - "Melaku is no pushover. He can hold his own. By this I do not infer that he is argumentative or defiant, simply that he is not overly sensitive and though the children have occasional disagreements, he handles them wisely. He is sure to express his view, hear another out, and when the matter is settled to drop it. He holds no grudges. He is helpful towards the younger children, and plays well with the older ones. He is the smallest but feistiest goalie in Layla and one of only a few younger children sturdy enough to play with the big boys.

Melaku nearly always rushed after me to help carry supplies for activities and classes whenever I taught. I have a photo of him and Yirgalem carrying baskets on their heads one afternoon – it was a signature moment. Always my little helper. He likes math and is good at it. We spent several hours over the summer doing flash cards and problem sets during activities time. Guess who had the idea. Certainly not me. I’m a music major. Melaku liked to pull out math supplies whenever I took down games like legos and puzzles for activities.

In class he paid as much attention as one can expect of a 7/8 year old (note - our agency says he's 9). He isn’t afraid to raise his hand or try new things; he enjoys writing on the board, giving examples, and helps other kids with their work. All in all, fairly mature for his age – though you could say that for most of the children considering how much they have been through.

Meluku and I shared many things in common: a love for music and music-making, our favorite color is red, we both enjoy sports, we like to draw,etc. He has a comforting steadiness and a peaceful spirit uncommon for such a small boy. I recall one very hectic afternoon when I had to combine two classes because of a shortage of teachers. At the time I as the only volunteer in the compound and so group two and group 1b went into the library. In the midst of finding, replacing, and reading books, Melaku asked if he could read to me. In his hands he held the first book I ever read to my dad: Go, Dog, Go. I sat with fascination as this small boy read nearly every single word of that book without halting."

These are the new Phillips boys! We are all very excited. They will begin the process there in Ethiopia, and in a couple of months or so Darren and I will travel there for a court date, and to meet the boys. :) :) Then we'll come back for a bit, and maybe a month or so later we'll be able to travel back and bring them home. :) :) :)

Please pray for us, for all the funds that we still need to come in - for the remaining fees, and for all of our travel costs.

the roller coaster

It's been a couple of weeks of ups and downs. We have all of our documents finished, our dossier is in Ethiopia, ready and waiting - and it has been so hard to know who we're supposed to adopt! We originally felt we were supposed to adopt two older boys - and we still pretty much feel that way, though we're open to a girl as well - but in the orphanages of the agency we have chosen to work with in Ethiopia, there is only one set of brothers that fit that criteria. We are praying about them, and getting more information, but we didn't feel immediately drawn to them, which made me feel bad. (down)

Then last week, a friend who has adopted from Ethiopia, and was just there last month, told me about an brother and sister that she thinks are really awesome. She described them to me, and connected me with another mom who knows them well, who also told me a lot about them. She said they were around 13 and 15, or 14 and 16 (many of the kids don't really know exactly how old they are).

Part of what drew me was the fact that they are older, and close to getting to the point where they can't be adopted. When God was first speaking to me about adoption, that was what was on my heart - giving a home to older children who don't have much chance of being adopted. I couldn't get this brother and sister off my mind and heart, and Darren and the boys also felt really drawn to them. (up)

So I emailed our agency and told them we were interested in them and asked for their files; only to find out the very next day that the girl had just been determined to be over 18 years old (!), and thus is too old to be adopted. (back down)

I talked some more with our agency, and they are waiting to find out if the brother is going to be released to be adopted on his own (the sister is going to be placed into a boarding school for now, along with 5 other girls who were recently determined to be over 18). Because they have so many older single boys available for adoption, and because of some changes in government policy which mean a lot of these older kids will have to be moving out of the orphanage and going to local schools, they are now more willing to consider people adopting two or more unrelated older boys. (partway back up)

The director of our agency is going to Ethiopia this week, and she is going to talk to the local social workers and see if they feel some of these older unrelated boys (including the brother) would do well together in families, and let us know. She is also going to get more information about the two brothers for us. Hopefully we'll hear from her later this week.

I think I'm ready to get off the roller coaster now, and onto the kiddie rides.