I took some pictures of Melaku for a headshot, because he wants to try acting, like his big brothers. He is very motivated to earn money right now -- Justin took him for a ride on his motorcycle, and Melaku immediately decided he wants/needs a dirt bike. I told him they are pretty expensive, and he would have to be at least 13 before he could get one. So, he is counting down the months until he is 13 (conveniently not hearing the "at least" part of my statement), and trying to find as much work as he can. When he heard how much Justin, Trevor and Alex sometimes were able to make acting, he was sold on the career.
He is also trolling for work all over our neighborhood. He cleaned all my baseboards and windows, then went to our neighbor's house and cleaned her windows, and he pet-sat a guinea pig over Christmas for some other neighbors. He pretty much asks me on a daily basis if I have any jobs for him, if he can go knock on some other neighbors' doors and ask them for work, and if anyone has responded to the email I sent out about pet-sitting. He is a hard worker, and extremely persistent, I will give him that. :)
We got the Wii game "Just Dance 3" today, and Justin, Z, Melaku, and Justin's friend, Justin, tried it out. It was extremely entertaining for me, watching these big guys shaking their booties. :)
It warms my heart every time I see 8 stockings hanging on our mantle -- and it give me a little jolt as well -- "Wow, we have 8 people in our family now!" It doesn't always hit me since all the kids aren't living at home, but I love it when we're all together, like we are now.
And lest you think my family is all sweetness and light -- this is the gingerbread house the kids put together last night. Lindsay is smiling, but I think it's kind of forced, because despite her attempts to make it "pretty," the house ended up with an "Occupy" theme, a dead snowman lying by the front door with icing blood and gummy brains spread around, and other things I won't mention. The fact that it actually looks like a normal house is only because they couldn't get it to stick together when they tried to build it lying on its side. She is simply outnumbered 5 to 1 by testosterone, unfortunately. And notice Z with icing "blood" all over his face -- just joining right in to our Phillips family boy dynamic. Nice.
I didn't realize it's been 3 1/2 months since I posted anything here! I had planned to blog regularly about adjusting to life with our two new sons after we arrived home, but I guess I've been too busy adjusting to write about it. :)
It has been almost five months now since Z and Melaku arrived, and it's been good! Not all easy by any means -- figuring out how best to parent each of them (and they are completely different!), teaching them about how things work in our family, helping them through so many transitions and new experiences -- but so special gradually getting to know one another better and love one another more and more, watching them become woven into the fabric of our family.
I started this blog more than two years ago (!), when God first spoke to us about adopting, because I wanted to make a record of the process, for us and for others that might want to follow in our footsteps. I feel like with the boys here now, a lot of the "process" is more personal, and not something I need to share in a public place.
But I would like to continue to blog, and to share our life as an adoptive family with you, so I think I'm going to try out a format which I've thought about using before, which is to post a picture every day or so with a brief description or thought (sort of like Project 365, which I did several years ago and really enjoyed).
So, here is the first installment:
One of our family Christmas traditions is to read aloud "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" (complete with silly voices and accents) over the few nights before Christmas; everyone takes turns reading. It has been fun and so special this year to introduce Z and Melaku to the book, and have them take a turn reading too. Here Melaku is gamely taking his turn (wearing the reader's hat), with occasional pronunciation help from Alex or Lindsay. :)
Wow, it's hard to believe that Z and Melaku have been here over a month now! It has been such a great time of getting to know each other and bonding.
They have had lots of new experiences, like learning to ride bikes, family game night, and learning the manly art of grilling...
...to eating lots of new foods like donuts (!) and Dad's waffles...
...to starting homeschool...
...to playing on soccer teams...
...to going on their first road-trip/family vacation...
...to meeting lots of new relatives.
I have been so impressed with how both boys have coped with all these new experiences, with good attitudes, willingness to try pretty much anything, and in general just jumping right into our family life.
There have been a lot of transitions already their first month here - Justin and Trevor moving to UNC (though thankfully they're not too far away), and Lindsay moving back to New York - so they definitely miss having their older siblings around, and we miss them too. :( Lindsay set Melaku up on Skype before she left, and he loves to talk to her. He's so funny - he yells so loudly to her, even though we told him he can talk in a regular voice. :)
The standard adoption analogy is that when you add children to your family, it's like adding on to a mobile that has been perfectly balanced before -- you'll have swings back and forth as it readjusts to a new balance (actually, that's the case even when you give birth to new kids). I can definitely see how that's true, as we adjust to having two new family members, and they adjust to having a new family as well.
I'm very thankful for our other four kids, for being so welcoming and loving to Z and Melaku, because their kindness and graciousness has helped the transition tremendously; and especially for Alex, since he is the one still at home now. I have been so impressed with his maturity in handling this, especially since he also had to deal with his best friend moving away right after the boys came here.
I know there will continue to be swings as our family mobile re-balances itself, but I am so thankful for the grace and wisdom that God continually gives us.
We are finally home with the boys! (Well, we've actually been home a week now, but I just haven't had a chance to post an update.) It was a good trip, very busy, but we got a lot done.
Some of the things we did:
Picked up the boys the first day and brought them to our guest house, where they stayed with Trevor and me the whole week.
Took a trip to Melaku's home village in the Soddo area to see his family and siblings - drove 2 hours, then hiked another hour (though they got a horse for me to ride back!). It was a very special time.
Visited with Zerihun's family, who all live in Addis - also very special.
Had our Embassy appointment - everything went well, though after we left the building, they ran after us, calling us back in, and myheart dropped! But they had just forgotten to fingerprint Z, which is the policy if a child is over 14. Did not need that stress!
Went to the Ethnological Museum, on the campus of Addis Ababa University, which was very interesting.
Went horseback riding in Solulta, on Entoto Mountain. It was Messie's and Melaku's first time, but they did great. Once our horses all shied when we were passing through a cow herd and a cow jumped up from behind a bush, but everyone hung on. Beautiful scenery, and a fun time, though we got soaked by a rain storm on the way back down.
Had lots of meetings concerning Meseret, arranging her situation. She was able to move out of the orphanage and stay with us at the guest house for a few days, which was nice; then she moved in with her aunt. Since we've been back, she's already gotten her ID card and applied for her passport, and once she gets it will hopefully be able to apply for her student visa soon.
(Z and Messie with their older brother)
Went to the final soccer match and going away party for the boys at Layla, which was bittersweet; lots of goodbyes.
We had a great welcoming party at the airport, which was nice after our LONG (44 hours) trip back.
Trevor and I leave today for Ethiopia to bring Zerihun and Melaku home! So excited!!!
We have also had some encouraging developments in Meseret's situation this last week -- I have found a school that is willing to admit her here in town! So, if she can get a student visa, she can come here and study until she graduates from high school, and then go on to college.
In order to get a visa, she needs to get a passport, and to get a passport, she needs an ID card. I'm not really clear on how she gets this, but all I know is that the social worker has been talking to her older brother and older sister, who live in Addis, about helping her to get it (maybe she would have to live with them for a bit? -- not sure), and neither is willing to help her.
I don't know why this is, but while I'm there, I'm going to be trying to figure out how to help her get this ID card. I'll be meeting with the siblings as part of Zerihun's going-away family visit, so I can talk to them at that time, hopefully help them overcome whatever obstacles would keep them from helping.
Please pray for me for favor and open doors! Somehow while I'm there, I would really like to get all these arrangements taken care of, and make sure the process is well on its way for Meseret.
We heard back from the Embassy after the holiday, and they gave us the date of July 28th for our visa appointment. After we got that confirmed, I reserved our flights; we're leaving July 22nd (arriving in Addis the evening of July 23rd) and will arrive back in NC the night of July 31st.
I'm so happy that Trevor decided to go with me; that will be a big help, and great for him to get to know the boys and see what their home country is like. We are going several days earlier than our Embassy appointment to allow time to visit with the boys' relatives and do some sightseeing and shopping.
I am hoping we can spend a good bit of time with Meseret as well. I'm not sure if she's still in school right now, or out on break, but I hope she can come stay with us some. I'm still working on trying to find a way to bring her here; hoping that a local Christian school will be willing to admit her.
The director of the orphanage told me that the boys are so excited, counting down the days till we arrive. :) :) :) Me too!!
We just got the email today that our case has been cleared by the Embassy, and we can travel to bring the boys home!!! Woohooo!! (and FINALLY!)
The earliest dates available for visa appointments at the Embassy are the week of July 25th, so hopefully we'll be able to travel that week, but we won't have it confirmed till after the holiday weekend. It will probably just be me traveling this time, since flights are so much more expensive now than they were in January; but Trevor may possibly go with me too, using his graduation money to travel to Africa for the first time (everyone else in our family has been except him :)).
We have almost got their room finished -- don't ask me why it's taken us so long :P -- but we recently had some of the kids' friends come and help them paint the room, and when James was visiting last weekend he and Lindsay worked on refinishing a dresser for the boys.
(Below are pictures, with Darren's edits added; he sent these pictures in letters to the boys, showing them what we've been doing to get their room ready.)
Still no word that we can travel to pick up the boys (!), but we have at least gotten a couple of updates. Our case was submitted to the Embassy about a week or so ago, and they are reviewing all the documents. In the last week, we have gotten a couple of emails sent from the Embassy to our agency requesting more information to be added to a couple of the documents. They aren't complicated things, thankfully, and hopefully won't take too long to get. Once they get these updated documents, we will get an email from them saying that our case is cleared, and giving us some possible dates to travel.
I know that the boys will be here soon (maybe in July?), but I really do feel like that mom at the end of her pregnancy who is huge and about to bust. Everyone is asking when the baby will be here, and you just don't know. You have pretty much resigned yourself to the fact that he will never come out, and you will probably be pregnant forever. And then it seems like all of the sudden he's here and you can't imagine him ever not being there, being such a huge part of your life.
The boys with letters from us
Darren is going with Alex and Trevor on a father-son camping trip this weekend; I was SO hoping that the boys would be here by now and would be able to go too. And today is Zerihun's birthday, and it's hard not to be with him!
We just received the boys' birth certificates! Their names are Zerihun Darren Phillips and Melaku Darren Phillips. In Ethiopia, people take their father's first name as their last name, so I think that's why they give adopted kids their adoptive father's name as their middle name. It is so cool to see the official documents with our names listed as their mother and father.
They put Zerihun's birthday in June 1996, so he is 14, turning 15 next month. That makes him and Alex almost twins, because Alex just turned 15 in May. :) They put Melaku's birthday as February 2001, so he is 10.
The pictures are funny - Z looks mad and Melaku looks like someone scared him right as they were taking it - but I'm just so happy that things are moving along! I think they will be able to submit everything to the Embassy next week, so please continue to pray that there won't be any hold-ups in that process, and that we can bring them home soon!
We also got three letters with some pictures from Melaku this week -- one to Darren and me, one to Lindsay and Alex, and one to Justin and Trevor (not sure why he divides them up that way...:)) -- and I also got a very sweet letter from Zerihun. Here are some excerpts:
Dear Mom,
I am very excited to see you again for the last time and then we will be together forever, but I am praying and waiting for you...If I don't have homework I will write more letters, and I know that you are busy but you are still writing letters for me and for Messi and Melaku. Mothers are always mothers and kind for their son and for everyone and my mom is just like that. And I always miss her and love her. I think I will see you soon. God be with you -
Our adoption of Zerihun and Melaku was officially approved by the court in Ethiopia back in March, and at that point we were told it would take about 6 weeks for the U. S. Embassy process, until we could go pick up the boys. But 6, 7 and 8 weeks came and went, and we had no word at all about what was happening - frustrating to say the least! Apparently, even though we had passed court, they the would not release the official adoption decree right away; I think they wanted more information or documents. And until this adoption decree is released, the agency can't get birth certificates and passports for the boys, and turn the file in to the U.S. Embassy for them to process it.
But this week, we finally got the great news that our case is finally "finished and approved" by the Ethiopian court and the adoption decree was received:
We got the court decision today for Melaku and Zerihun Philips. We should have the translated court decision sometime next week as well as the birth certificates. Possibly we will be able to submit the file to the embassy by June 1st. We will keep you updated.
We still can't plan the trip to bring them home, because the Embassy has to review the file once they receive it, but we are closer to that point. This is what they told us the process is once the file is submitted to the Embassy:
It typically take the embassy 1-2 weeks to review the file. At that point, the embassy may ‘clear’ the case, or they may ask for clarifying information. Of course, AAI must answer any questions the embassy may have concerning any given case. Once the embassy ‘clears’ the case, they will email your family directly to inform you the case has cleared and will request that your family select three possible dates that would be acceptable for your family to complete the visa interview process. Then the embassy will respond by confirming one of the three dates. At that point, you make travel arrangements.
So, we are encouraged, and trying to still be patient. Please pray that the file will be submitted quickly, and that the Embassy will review it quickly and have no issues. We will also need to raise more funds for this trip, as flight prices have gone up quite a bit, so pray for all the funds we need to come in.
Hopefully these two awesome boys will be here soon!
(Pictures taken by my awesome friend Mandie, who has been a big support to me through this whole process; she took the pictures when she delivered all the Christmas presents to all the kids at Layla House. :))
What’s a mom?
I suppose a mom is just where we all come from – a simple origin of sorts.
Our genesis. Beginning. Source.
But what’s a mom?
I guess a mom is simply a tutor – a trainer of sorts.
To start us off in life. Point us in the right direction. Guide us. Teach us right and wrong.
A mom? Who’s mom?
Oh, she’s the maid. She cleans everything. Dirty dishes? She’ll take care of them!
Leave your clothes on the floor? Don’t worry – that’s HER job! They’ll be washed soon.
So what’s a mom?
A mom is just a disciplinarian – the slap on our hand when we reach for the cookie jar.
A policewoman.The rule enforcer. “The Man”.
Hey, have you heard of a mom?
She’s like a sidekick, - the comic relief. You live your life, and every once in a while, when you interact with her, she says something hilarious.
And makes everything a little bit easier because of it.
And what IS a mom?
A cook. All she does is cook. Her job is to feed us.
Spaghetti, pork, vegetables, casserole – you name it. She’s a pretty good cook.
I like her food a lot.
What is a mom?
Two words. Trans. Portation. She gets you where you need to be.
She’s a chauffeur. A driver. When you need a ride, she’s your woman!
Wait, a mom? What’s that?
Oh, it’s this awesome money machine! Dude, like you just push a few buttons and say a few words, and you get money! It’s so crazy. And it never runs out.
Oh, and you can set it up on this recurrence plan, where it like automatically gives you money on a certain day every month. Plus it pays for meals. You should totally get one.
Could you tell me what a mom is?
Sure – she’s a confidant! Life’s got you down? Go to your mom!
Her job is to listen to anything you say, and give advice on anything and everything.
I bet a lot of people wish they had a mom – the awesome secretary/fixer I have!
She does all my paperwork for me, calls the people I need to, straightens out messes, does tech support, fills out applications, and makes appointments.
You name an administrative task, and she does it for me! (P.S. She got me into college.)
I bet a lot of people wish they had my mom. She does everything: She created me, she raised me, she disciplined me, she cooks, she cleans, she judges, she keeps order, she jokes, she drives, she pays, she works, she works, she works! And she works.And how.
But she loves.
She loves like I don’t understand. It’s like if I told you that I would pay you 70% of everything I ever earn, and as MY payment, I made you promise to take it. It doesn’t make sense. I guess her house will just be really big in heaven.
Yeah, I think I’ll probably want to live with my mom there. She’ll have like, a mansion. And I’ll ride my moped over from my hut, up her driveway past all her limousines and hummers and ferraris, up to her personal parking deck. And then I’ll take the diamond elevator up to the front door, where she’ll have one of those awesome video doorbells that projects a 3D hologram of who you are the owner inside, and will probably play you your favorite song as you wait patiently outside for her to fly down from her bedroom on the 87th floor. She’ll open the door and see me with my hopeful grin and mooching face on, and she’ll be like “Trevor, do you even have a house?? This is the like 120th time this week (‘cause weeks in heaven are 70 times 7 days long) that you’ve ‘needed a place to crash for the night’!” And I’ll just mumble something incoherent about “unruly cherubim gangs in my part of town” while she kindly lets me in again, and as she rolls her eyes and flies back upstairs, I’ll dive onto her pegasus-feather couch and be engulfed into its succulent comfyness.
Suffice to say, she’s done a lot. And she deserves a lot.
We got another letter from Melaku yesterday. :) He's pretty consistent about writing, which is nice; I think they probably have the kids with parents write to them in their class at school.
They must have a hard time reading my writing, though, because we have gotten letters with all kinds of interesting addresses...but somehow they have always made it to us (of course I wouldn't know if they didn't make it, right?). This letter was just addressed to me on our street name, no house number; and there are a lot of houses on our street. Props to our mailman. :)
Dear family,
How are you? I am fine. Thank you for the letter. When I read the letter I am so happy. When you will come soon I want to play soccer with my Dad. I love you my family. God with you. God bless you.
We passed court!!!! Zerihun and Melaku are officially our sons!!!
We got an email today from our agency -"We had news today that two cases have passed court sometime in the last few days. These are Melaku and Zerihun Philips." :):):):):)
This is such a relief. We still have some process to go through on the U.S. side that they say will take approximately 6 weeks - getting new birth certificates and passports for them, medical appointments, etc - but at least we're not dealing with the unknowns of the adoption slowdown on the Ethiopian side.
This has been kind of a rough week for me. About a week ago I heard the news that Ethiopia was planning to cut back on their processing of international adoptions by 90% starting on March 10th (see article here - http://bit.ly/hbt8PQ). We were supposed to have our final court date last Tuesday, March 8th, so I was really hopeful that we would pass before this slowdown went into effect. But then we found out that the recommendation letter we needed from MOWA (the Ministry of Women's Affairs - the department planning to "slow down" on the 10th) had not been received by our court date, so the adoption wasn't finalized.
We are very concerned, especially because of Z's age. His current birth certificate (which was created last year) shows him as 14, turning 15 in June; but the doctors who have examined him apparently think he is 15, turning 16. Under U.S. law, we have to file for his adoption in the U.S. before he turns 16, and we can't do that until the adoption is finalized in Ethiopia.
Anyway, please pray with us that this one letter we are waiting on from MOWA will be received very soon and that we will pass court!
In the midst of this, though, I have been encouraged and built up so much by my awesome family and friends. On the day we learned we had not passed court, I was really upset, and Darren and the boys were out playing golf for the day. When they got home, though, all three boys came in and just hugged me and hung out with me and encouraged me so much, and Darren made dinner. :)
I've had a lot of friends encouraging me and letting me know they're praying, but I had one friend who basically said to me, "You're not alone! I'm here in this fight with you!" and started brainstorming and making calls and figuring out what our next step should be. She has been through this process herself, adopting internationally and dealing with all the ups and downs and bureaucracy, so she knows what it's like; and she is definitely a fighter! She encouraged me so much to not just be discouraged, but to get up and do something!
And just today, I heard from another friend that she and her husband want to give us $500 for our adoption! I know that this is truly a sacrificial gift for them, and it really touched me.
Every financial gift we have been given through this whole process has been such a blessing to me, so humbled me. It has shown me so much how God's heart is for the orphan, because he promised to be a father to the fatherless. I believe when we step up and say, God, I want to be your hands and feet in this earth - father (and mother) the fatherless through me! - then he brings heaven's resources to our aid.
But it is also a battle, because every one of those children is precious to God, and a potential world-changer, and the enemy wants them to stay in their despair and hopelessness. So when we decide to reach out to them, he throws up obstacle after obstacle in our path.
But we have a mighty God who fights for us, and teaches us how to fight. In church this morning, the message was about victory, and this verse (Psalm 44:3) encouraged me:
It was not by their sword that they won the land,
nor did their arm bring them victory;
it was your right hand, your arm, and the light of your face,
I haven't updated since we've been back because the last 6 (!) weeks we have just been basically waiting. As I mentioned earlier, when we met Melaku's aunt at court, we found out he had siblings that we had not known about, and that were not listed in his file. It's a big deal when all the info in the file is not correct, so they had to have his aunt come back in at a later date and give all the correct info about his family. She did that, but apparently they also had to therefore have a new court date, which was set for March 8th. Hopefully everything will be finalized that day on the Ethiopian side.
Then, we have to wait some more for the U.S. visas to be processed, which typically takes about a month or so; so we're thinking at this point we'll probably be going back sometime in April to bring the boys back -- hopefully sooner!
The only way we can communicate with them is through letters carried back and forth by adoptive parents who travel there, so it's not too fast. We have sent letters to them a couple of times since we came back, and received some that were actually written before we traveled there in January. We've only gotten one letter from Z so far, but we've gotten lots from Melaku; he goes to school there at Layla House, and I think they have the kids write to their parents pretty frequently. Here is one of his letters:
"I love you my family. I'm so happy for my family. I miss you my family. I am very happy to see soon my family home and my bed. I'm excited to go to America. Sunday is play time soccer ball. Manchester United and Arsnal. Manchester United name is Z-Man, Melaku, Roba, Biniam, Zemdun, Dawit. Arsnal name is Biruk, Shiferaw, Ashenafi, Abi big, Abi small, Samuel. The winner is Manchester United 16 and Arsnal 14 golls. The golls Z-Man 4, Melaku 4, Zemdun 4, Dawit 3, Biniam 1 Bye Bye."
We also got a letter from Meseret which was sweet:
"Dear my family,
I am so fine and merry Christmas to all of you and thank you for that letter sent to me and I am so happy that you adopt us!!! Now I am learning and everything is fine. Thank you so much for everything!!! I love you so much all of you!!"
We needed about $6000 more for our final (yay!) expenses for this last trip, and about a week ago a good friend of ours told us that God spoke to her to give us $3500 of that! What an awesome, amazing blessing that was! So we are very close, only needing about $2500 more.
Please pray with us for this final amount to come in, and especially for everything to go smoothly on March 8, so that we can bring the boys home soon!
I was talking to some friends yesterday at church who are very interested in international adoption, and one thing we were talking about is how complicated and intimidating the process can be when you're first thinking about it, and also how expensive it is. This is all true, but the good thing is that it doesn't all happen at once - the process and the fees that are due are spread out over many months, and you kind of learn what to do and raise the money as you go along.
Looking back over the year+ that we've been going through this adoption process, and this is what it has been for us so far:
- Contacted Amazing Grace, a local adoption agency, to start the home study process - Sept 2009
- Gathering documents, doing required training, etc - Sept-Dec 2009
- Started home study - Jan 2010
- Started home study again - Mar 10, 2010 (we had to start over with a new social worker for various reasons, but mostly because our previous one was about to have a baby)
- Decided on Ethiopia, and applied with AAI (Adoption Advocates International) - Mar 2010
- Finished home study - June 2010 (and began looking at AAI's dvds and info on their waiting children)
- Gathering documents for dossier - June-Aug 2010
- Dossier sent to Ethiopia - Aug. 26, 2010
- Chose the boys - Sept. 28, 2010
- Case submitted to court - Oct 29, 2010
- Court date assigned - Dec 16, 2010
- Court date - Jan 17, 2011
We were kind of slow getting going, mostly because it took one of us (**cough** Darren **cough**) a while to finish all the required training (10 hours each, including online courses and reading books). :) Also, when we started out, we were still praying and deciding about where to adopt from, Ethiopia or Uganda; we really only settled on Ethiopia in March, after adoptions were shut down in Uganda for several months. Some people go through this process much more quickly than we did, especially if they already know which country they're adopting from and which agency they're using, or sometimes even which specific children they want to adopt.
Thursday was a pretty full day - thankfully Darren and I didn't have to fly out until almost midnight, so we had the whole day there (Lindsay and Alex flew out to Tanzania the next day). In the morning we went to Layla House and hung out with the boys for a while - Z was still on break, but Melaku was back in school there at Layla, so we hung out with him during his break. He and his friends were still really into the card game Lindsay had taught them the day before, Sandwich, so they wanted to play endless hands of it. :)
At one point, I went looking for Alex and Zerihun, and found them in the library - Zerihun was practicing his math (for fun! I asked him if it was his homework, and he said no), and Alex was helping him. They were doing things like g/kg conversions. It was so funny to me seeing Alex, for whom math is his bane, helping Zerihun, who apparently loves it. But more power to him - hopefully they will spur one another on in school at home!
Later that morning we went out for some shopping and sightseeing with the other two adoptive couples who were there. The Ethiopian government really wants to make sure that adoptive parents see the country while we're there, and learn about its history, so that we will teach our new children their heritage. We totally agree with that, and would do it anyway, on our own, even if they didn't encourage it.
We went to kind of a tourist shopping area, where we bought Lindsay a really pretty traditional Ethiopian white dress for her birthday, some knives for the boys (for some reason, t-shirts just didn't excite Alex...), and Darren bought like 25 pounds of coffee. :) It's pretty inexpensive there, and really good (so he says - I'll have to take his word for it); coffee is one of Ethiopia's main exports.
We had lunch, then went to the Ethiopian National Museum, which had exhibits ranging from archeological finds (including Lucy) to thrones and crowns from various emperors to art to traditional tools, instruments, crafts, and etc. It was pretty interesting, though we went through it quickly. This is Lindsay in front of Haile Selassie's throne:
After that we went back, and were able to spend time with the boys at the Guest House until we left. That was a really nice time, because it was just our family, without lots of other kids around. We played games like Mancala and Jenga, colored, did puzzles, watched old videos of our family (both boys thought Ping Pong Remix - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBMx0kxvHbw - was hilarious :)), had dinner, and talked.
It was so hard to leave - Darren and I were both in tears, and had a hard time letting go of the boys. :( It's hard not knowing how long we'll have to wait to go back. Please pray with us that the process will go smoothly and quickly, with no hold-ups, and we'll be able to bring the boys home as soon as possible! And also for the remaining funds we still need for the last trip to come in.
Wednesday was a holiday too, and the kids were all out of school, so we hung out with them most of the day at Layla House, which was fun and relaxing.
Melaku is Alex's little buddy, and for some reason he loves to play with his hair -
Both boys have asked if we will let them grow their hair out once they come home - of course we said yes. I'm sure it will be nice for them just to be able to have control over that aspect of their appearance.
There were more soccer games, this time with the older boarding school girls joining in, including Meseret on the Phillips family team -
We played card games with the kids -
and Darren showed them pictures and played some of Lindsay's songs for them on his laptop.
In the afternoon, the boarding school girls had to go back to school, so Alex and I rode with them in the van. They go to school in an area called Akaki, on the outskirts of Addis. It felt like the countryside to me; the roads leading up to her school were dirt, with huge rocks in the road. Because of that, I think, most people get around in horse-drawn cart taxis like this -
It was sad to say goodbye to Meseret, but we told her to work hard in school, especially in math and English, and that we will do whatever we can to bring her here!
Tuesday was the beginning of Timkat, a national holiday celebrating the Epiphany (Christ's baptism); it goes through Wednesday, so the kids were on break from school (though Melaku had a half day in the morning - he goes to school at Layla House).
We went to Layla in the morning to hang out with the kids, and got to see one of Melaku's classes -
Earlier he had shown me his school notebooks from his classes, like English, Math, Science, and Amharic. He was so proud, looking at us to see our reactions and comments on his work. :) He had a notebook from music class too, with lyrics written out to songs as diverse as If I Had a Hammer, Seasons in the Sun, This Little Light of Mine, and I'm Yours! I asked him to sing some that he knew, and he sang If I Had a Hammer - it was so cute - he has a sweet little voice.
Because it's a holiday, the girls at boarding school (including Meseret, Z's sister) were on break, and were coming to Layla to spend the night, so Lindsay and Zerihun went with the van to pick them up. We walked down to a restaurant for lunch, and soon after we got there the van dropped the three of them off. It was pretty emotional meeting Meseret. She is so sweet, and is beautiful; she speaks English pretty well too. Darren started talking to her, letting her know how hard it was for us when we found out she was too old, and how we wanted to help her however we could and that we consider her a part of our family too. We were all crying - it was really heart-wrenching. Please pray with us that we can find a way to bring her over too!
After lunch a group of us took the older girls and boys from Layla and the boarding school out to see some of the holiday celebrations. There is an ancient Ethiopian tradition that the actual Ark of the Covenant is here at a church in Ethiopia. On this holiday, replicas of the Ark are carried out in procession from 8 different churches to a body of water, where they celebrate Christ's baptism and pray all night, then they are carried back in procession the next day. We walked to one of the churches where an Ark is carried out. That's a simple statement - but it was a long walk! No one told us how far it would be. :) It probably took about an hour and a half! And it was hot. But it was really cool to see the procession. Everyone is dressed in white, or with white head coverings, singing songs, and they all jump up and down and ululate when the Ark passes them. Then they all fall in behind to join the procession. This picture is one we took the next day from higher up - the Ark replica is under the umbrellas:
Lindsay and I went back to Layla after that to rest a bit, but Darren and Alex stayed and hung out with the kids. We came back later, and when we walked in we saw them hanging out in Zerihun's room - Darren was playing songs on his laptop and the younger boys (including Melaku) were showing off their dance moves. They were so funny! Melaku was just laughing and laughing, especially when Lindsay and Alex would join in.
It is getting harder and harder to walk away from these boys every day, leaving them there. When we left that evening, Zerihun walked us to the door, and it was SO hard not to take him with us! I can tell it's really hard for him too. Being one of the older boys, who has been there so long and seen so many kids leave, you can tell that he is just so ready to go. He asks us when we'll be back to take them home - he thinks it will only be a couple of weeks, but it will probably be more like 6-8 weeks, which is going to be hard! Pray that all goes smoothly with the extra documents needed, no glitches with the court or the U.S. Embassy!
Monday was court day! We thought the boys' relatives were going in the morning, and us in the afternoon, but apparently the court called and said they wanted us all there in the morning. I was glad because we got to meet Z's older brother, and Melaku's aunt. We went there with another couple who is adopting a baby, and it was crowded; we waited around for a while to be called in.
I tried to talk to Melaku's aunt while we were waiting and get more information about his family, because we have nothing, really -- his file has no info about when his parents died, no siblings. I called Zerihun over to translate, and one of the first things the aunt said was that Melaku has four brothers and one sister that live out in the countryside, some older and some younger! I was flabbergasted. We had to go in to court, but later we sat down with her with a social worker to try to get more info, and she said the same thing. She did say some of them were children of a stepmother, which doesn't make sense because the father died first -= anyway, we have to get it all straightened out, because apparently she told the judge he has siblings, and the paperwork didn't have that info, and they have to have it for the adoption to be finalized.
When we went in to talk to the judge (us and the other couple), she asked us various questions like what did our other children think about the adoption, were we learning about Ethiopia and planning to teach our new children their heritage, etc. I ended up answering most of the questions for all of us, because no one else was speaking up - I didn't know this till afterwards, but apparently Darren and the other couple couldn't understand a word the judge was saying! She spoke English well, just spoke very quietly. They were waiting till I answered to hear what the question was. :)
At the end, she told the other couple that their baby was now theirs, but she told us that they would let us know later. Apparently this is very common, when some of the paperwork is not complete. We found out later that they were missing one recommendation because the women's ministry had been closed the Friday before, and also that they will need Melaku's aunt to come in again and give a statement about his siblings. It was hard not walking out of there knowing the boys are officially ours -- but everyone tells us these things should pose no problem. Please do pray that they won't.
The boys had gone with us to court, because often the judge wants to talk to older kids to make sure they consent to the adoption, but she didn't ask to speak with them (for which Z was very relieved! :)).
After court
We found out that as of right now, Zerihun's birth certificate says he was born on June 17, 1996, which would make him a month or so younger than Alex; but the doctors think he is probably a year older than that, so they will probably add a year when the official birth certificate is made.
Later that afternoon we went shopping for a bit, to a silk factory and a basket shop, and that evening to an Ethiopian dinner with traditional dances from many of the country's main tribes (like Oromo (Z's tribe), Gurage (Melaku's tribe), Amhara, Somali, and Tigrai). The dances were really interesting to watch - they do a lot of neck and shoulder jerking moves which are amazing, and in one dance, a woman spins her head and hair around and around, really fast, which gave me a headache just watching. The boys got to go with us to all of this too, which was awesome (they can't be out with us alone till the adoption is finalized and the papers are in hand, but we had one of the social workers from Layla with us, so it was more of a field trip).
